A Letter To My Future Love

Dedicated those who are searching for the beloved.

When I’m alone I think of you

I wonder if you think of me

You are somewhere outside my mind

I imagine you with so much fond

I should wait to see you so

I am sure that a day will come

In which I am reading this poem to you

Until that day I have to deal with it

Deal with my lonely thoughts

I hope when I come to you

You see me young with love for you

Not an old man who has depression

A man who has lost his pure passion

I have one head but a thousand dreams

I must let you know you are my first dream

Now I am in the middle-east

A land of so many cruel beasts

But I guess I shall meet you out of Persia

And tell you stories of the fallen Asia

Tell you about the problems

 which have surrounded me

Prisoned me in the jail of thoughts

This poem is my letter to you

From an amazed boy who is going to bright 

Author's Note

Reviews are always appreciated!

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Ahh, to be so committed to love is wonderful. To understand and appreciate what is going on everywhere in our world.
Life is not always that easy for everyone.
I believe in keeping our hearts open for that is the only way things can change for the better.
Lisa, moved from California no living in Spain

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks Lisa for your kind words.
Wish you the best my friend.
Nima

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome.

[Robert Haigh]

I love the lines: "I have one head but a thousand dreams/I must let you know you are my first dream." We should all continue to dream, both on a personal level and on a social level.

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks Robert for your kind review. A man without a dream, surely is only a walking dead. Thanks for stopping by.
Best Wishes
Take Care

[Aura]

This poem speaks of a longing to see and reunite with his beloved. They want to recite this powm and all of the thoughts and problems that have been nagging their mind and tell it all to this special person, hopefully they will reconnect, someday soon. Nicely penned!

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks dear Aura for your lovely comment.
This poem is not just a romantic piece. It actually reflects the problems in Persia.
I want everyone in the world to pray for this lovely country.

[Chris Shaw]

Many feel imprisoned by their thoughts. Never give up on your dreams of a future love and never give up on your desire to put pen to paper my friend. Write on.

Chris

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks a lot for your comment. I would be glad If you have a skim on my other poems.

[keith]

you write as you like not as some blow hard 'i'm published' asshat!
this pompas a*s never has anything positive to contribute
his is #1 troll

[JayG]

So someone unknown has written a fantasy letter to someone mythical, about personally meaningful things.

I have to ask: what's in it for the reader? What, about this, will stir the reader's emotions, given that they have no context to make it personally meaningful?

Am I supposed to believe that old men are depressed because you think they are? I'm sure not. Am I supposed to believe that the Middle East is home to "cruel beasts" without having even a clue of what, or who you're using as your standard as to what's a cruel beast and unique to that area?

My point? Make it as meaningful to the reader as to yourself. Make it THEIR letter, and meaningful to them. Our goal isn't to make the reader know—especially know about us. It's to make them feel, and care. Don't tell the reader you cried, give them reason to weep.

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks for your review. I really admire it. I totally agree with you sir. I am not as professional as you are. Actually,if you were living in the middle-east you would have understood that here is a tragedic and stressful area to live.

[JayG]

• I totally agree with you sir. I am not as professional as you are.

When it comes to poetry, I'm definitely an amateur. the only difference between us is that I've dug into the specialized knowledge and techniques of the field, which you can do as easily as I did.

It's not a matter of talent. It's that the only training we receive, in writing, is nonfiction, where we talk to the reader. And that's easy to fix. Just dig through a good book on poetic technique.

• Actually,if you were living in the middle-east you would have understood that here is a tragedic and stressful area to live.

I don't doubt that. And that's my point. You open with "When I’m alone I think of you." Think of that from the viewpoint of the reader, who has no idea of where this person is, who they are, and, what's going on. The words suggest a loved, or good friend who is away, or has rejected them. And as the piece continues, it seems to suggest

So when you say, "Now I am in the middle-east," we don't know why that matters, why this person is there, or anything that might give context.Then you begin talking about things like, " I shall meet you out of Persia." But Persia no longer exists, as far as most people know. So...is this person in modern day Iran, and about to leave? Is the one being spoken to doing that? You know. They both know. But the reader? Not a clue.

So, if you talk to the reader, it's a lecture. If you talk to someone the reader doesn't know, about things meaningful only to them, is that an improvement as the reader sees it?

One of the reasons poems are often allegorical and uses similies is as a shortcut to giving the reader context. Talk about the screams of children at play, or the sound of thhunder, and the reader hears them. Talk about "my favorite song," and you'll hear t play on reading those words. The reader? No clue.

And here's the good news. If you like to write poetry, the learning is filled with, "Ahh...I can use that." And the more you know the easier it gets.

[Nima.Hope]

With many thanks, I really admire your comments and I would like you to comment on every poem I'm going to publish because you are more experienced than I. Speaking of Iran, there is nothing to say but sorrow. The poet wants to say that he is frustrated from relationships and everything in Iran and wants to go abroad and not to see the problems and the fall of his country.

[JayG]

• I would like you to comment

But that's my point. Once you add the skills of poetry to your writing toolbox, I won't have to. And when you've practiced them to where they're in use automatically, you'll be giving the same advice to others.

Use this link to download a copy of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. It's a really good way to begin.

Then hop over to Amazon, to read the excerpt to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. The man is brilliant, and what he has to say about the flow of language will have you wondering why you never noticed it, yourself.

And, visit the Shmoop site. When you arrive select Student. Then, look for the button next to the midpage search window. Use it and select Poetry. There are lots of successful poems there, anlyzed in depth, to show why, and how they achieved success.

You have the desire, the wordsmith skills, and the perseverance. All you need is the tools to give your talent wings. And they can help.

[Nima.Hope]

Thanks sir. That was so kind of you to help me.
Wish you all the best.
Nima