Pilgramage

Just something I threw together while looking for contests, as inspirations for writing. This one had to be 55 words so take it with a grain of salt.

Pilgrimage

Icy Nordic air berated him on this quest, following the snowy road, his purpose to complete the pilgrimage. Reaching the altar, he carefully drew the carvings around it. He laid upon the altar and awaited his death by cold. His life he gladly gave to save his loved ones from the god of the land.

Author's Note

55 words, just for sh*ts and giggles.

Reviews

[Marie]

Very nice for something so short.

[NoblePariah]

Thank you.

[Acropolix]

First of all, you really got yourself to a difficult challenge with this, but I certainly could picture the altar amidst the cold landscape. Now, I only have one true comment. In the last line you state 'to save his loved ones from the god of the land'. Do you mean the islamic religion here? It's not clear wether your character is a christian or muslim, but it's ofcourse very difficult to make many things clear with so few words. Keep it up!

[NoblePariah]

Yeah it certainly was a challenge, I was struggling with the end, I kept going over 60 words and had to start over, I actually wrote this for a contest I came across last night. I was a bit drunk so the last line was just coming from a completely fictional world I came up with for the purpose of this story, I hadn't really applied it to a real religion, it was more just a sinister being, demanding a willing sacrifice in exchange for the villages' well-being. I just realized the title does have connotations with a religion such as those, though that thought adds an interesting element to the story that I hadn't previously thought of.