Steam

Wasn't so sure about it at first, (I was having an off day as far as getting a good flow), but now I don't think I am too disappointed in it.

You entered the room
and the awkwardness between
your mother and I wiped
away like steam
on a bathroom mirror

incandescent eyes
followed the page as a
modest mouth
recited its favorite bit
from a poet almost as morbid as You

my fingers, nail-bitten
run through a head of hair
sheltering a brilliant mind
almost as nail-bitten, itself

You take Me out to places
where the fish are as
koi,
coy
as You
so I document Us in a journal
that is as weathered as I.

Reviews

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

I love the opening stanzas imagery and for me its metaphor of the awkward ephemeral nature of all types of relationships. There's a coy and playful aspect to your poem mirrored by its more serious imagery of things fading, ending and leaving. A creative piece that I'm glad I decided to check out and read.

[Alessander]

your mother and I wiped
away like steam
on a bathroom mirror

I really like this image in itself - it suggests that of two people maybe trying to see the "real" person in the mirror. It actually can stand for a lot of other stuff, but I'm sure you don't want to hear me drone on and on.

I'm unsure why you capitalize the Pronoun references...I'm not sure if you're making a punctuation argument that the "I" shouldn't be king of them or what lol

nail-bitten mind indeed.

[Tony]

Sounds like a date and meeting the syblings-- or at least the Mother. I enjoyed the whole poem but especially liked-- "wiped away like steam on a bathroom mirror". Nice ussage of "koi" and "coy"-- that's cool. Very creative poem-- well done.

[freelancejouster]

there is an awkward, fumbling beauty in this that cannot be place. it hides within the ragged edges and the scaps of poetry and the brilliance sheltered beneath.