Mary, Mary "James Patterson" (scene taken from the book)revamped version POV Taken^3

Watching you take that step, wandering and wondering why

Why did I have to see that gun

Am I next?

Seeing it take place in that movie theater

You walking up to her

Looking her in the eye

Looking for that certain glint of fear

Before you shoot her in the head twice

Clean shot, clearly seen

Before you brought out that knife

Sweet clean blade

Craving into the smooth face of hers

What had she ever done to you

You walk away slowly just not to draw attention

Looking back you left your calling card

Those two letters A and B

What do they mean to you

Why these women with the children

Do they mean something to you

Your own mother not caring

Not understanding why or what you were when you were young

Granted I never understood why

Yet as you walked away

Looking towards me you raise your hand to your lips

Telling me to be quiet

Yet then you grin and wink

Before you exited the theater showroom

Should I be scared of being next

Am I to be played with

Author's Note

No clue what you would actually call this but I tried something different, pov is taken from a person sitting a few rows in front of what "murder" took place. This is not the actual scene that is taken place. This is what I would think a person may possibly think if they were there. This could have been one course of action that I thought was kinda fun to do.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the tale dear Nomo.
"Yet then you grin and wink
Before you exited the theater showroom
Should I be scared of being next
Am I to be played with"
The above lines. Great set-up for the next chapter. Hello from Lower Michigan and thank you for sharing the poem.
Coyote

[barleygirl]

I love that you're so experimental & that you explain this so other writers can see what you were attempting here & also to inspire other writers to be experimental, too.

All that being said, I would give thing this a short declarative title like "Am I Next?" (I avoid pieces with long titles -- it shows the writer cannot discern what the msg is) . . . I would get rid of line mentioning movie theater, ditch authors note . . . and what's left is an awesome gripping thought-journey we readers could apply to anything we want. It's good to share our writing process with other writers here at the cafe, but also I can see this being a tightly-written interesting guided mind-tour that gives the reader some options, as far as POV . . . so don't guide the reader so much. Just let people play with your words & you might be surprised how the reader can teach us more about the words that have come to us (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[John the Baptist]

Interesting concept here. I suppose there are people who get so emotionally involved with a movie that they fancy they are a part of it. I recall reports of this happening during the original "The Exorcist." On the other hand, the kind of guys described in the poem are out there, so if it encourages women to be careful, it may serve a good purpose.