Sanguinary

Rising above metamorphosis, holding still

A magnet rings up to a sick beating shrill

In the corners of the world sit giants and ants

Turmoil turning to thickness, unheard of dance

Mistakes I made circulating under wheel

A ragged shame I hide as I continuously keel

Over and over in a lost bundling cave forever

hearing the sound of a blooming ice flowerer

Noteworthy distills agony, so many screams

War is near the horizening distances of steel

Jump out when the ring bells your saudade eyes

Run when your emotions show your dead eyes

Author's Note

Just tried it in a different way!

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Throughout this one I get the sense of war and conflict. Toward the end of the work, war is mentioned, and the next line makes me think of paratroopers on a combat jump. If indeed you save the strange stuff for Farsi, I can't imagine how that would sound.

[NonsenseTyper]

I commit myself to the automatic writing technique for what I write here, but in writing short stories I frequently have to stop and think but I keep the strangeness close to my words all the time :)
Thanks for your comment, John!
means alot.

[John the Baptist]

When you say automatic writing, does that mean relaxing and allowing the words to come, however they sound?

[NonsenseTyper]

The trick is to start writing with a blank mind and writing as fast as possible to stop any thought or conscious interaction with the words. And you should never stop typing even for one second and Must not stop to read what you have written until you get the feeling that its done.
I Start writing without having anything particular in mind, end the writing in one sitting and fast, finish writing without knowing what I wrote! Then I read it and do some editing.
It's like being a typewriter for you unconscious! its not "You" who is writing!
Doing this, I am constantly shocked at what appears on the paper...

[John the Baptist]

Fascinating. I may give it a try.

[NonsenseTyper]

I Look Forward to reading your experimental writings, Master :)

[barleygirl]

I was drawn to your title word, thinking of "sanguine" which has a positive connotation . . . but when I google your word, I see it's far from positive! Thus, your title goes with your message strongly. I love your rhyme & rhythm being unique & staid & unlike the typical cocky bouncing ride that happens with lots of rhyme & rhythm (particularly mine). Everything about this is originally-stated. This reminds me of how hectic our current times feel for everyone. We're all feeling shrill & in turmoil, keeling in shame & agony! (nicely dynamic descriptions) I tell myself to calm down many times a day! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I enjoyed this for the pace the rhyme, the word play and the feeling of romantic fantasy. I did baulk at the final two lines when you used eyes in both!

[NonsenseTyper]

Thank you for your review!
I used eyes in both lines probably because we have two eyes :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I see!!!!!!

[Chris]

Saudade... what we haven't and yet may never have known - and we miss it so deeply... such a good word. Sighs

[NonsenseTyper]

WoW! you gave an amazing definition of the word it struck me! thank you, Christ.

[Chris]

welcome...