Is this it? [Chapter 3: Plans]

Is this it? [Chapter 3: Plans]

A Chapter by Chaos Complex
"

Chapter 3 of my story. Reviews welcomed.

"
[Continued from: "Fun with Gout. Kinda."]

"God... where are you?"

There was no response in the pitch blackness. There was nothing. The only thing Ren could feel was the cold. The only thing he could really understand was the emptiness.

"You're real, right? You wouldn't let people suffer and die and all that other stuff. You're going to help us fix it, right? God? Is this all part of some super cool plan? At the end, instead of a giant comet killing us all, the gate to your kingdom is going to show up and we're all going to have some delicious cake together, right?"

"Would you shut it. He's not going to answer. He's got better things to do than listen to your bitching- like plotting the next extinction of a species."

That wasn't God answering him. Ren sat up quickly and grabbed the chain connected to his fan. He pulled a couple of times, hoping the light would brighten the room up right away, but there was still darkness. The thing started to act up a couple of weeks ago. He tugged it roughly to the left and the bulbs lit up. He peered over to the side of his bed to see a purple haired girl, clad in black clothing. She had her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jeans as she bluntly glared at Ren with her green eyes.

"Aya?"

"What?"

"So you both came back. Gothic as always, I see."

The girl tossed her long hair over a shoulder.

"Duh, dumbass. If Karin is here, then of course I'd be around too. Wait- why are you acting like we went somewhere? We were always around."

"I haven't gotten to see either of you or talk to you two in a while."

Ren sat up, quickly slipping some pants on and glancing at his cell phone. 8:34PM. Aya chuckled at the surprised look on his face. She knew he didn't mean to nap that long.

"Why the hell did you take a nap for? Weren't you suppose to go to a party?"

"I didn't feel like it..."

"Of course not. Geez, go f*****g do something with your life."

"I just didn't feel like being surrounded by a bunch of drunken idiots, okay?"

"Why not? If one of them started crap with you, you coulda kicked their a*s. You would have had a good excuse to!"

"I can't do that anymore..."

"Why? Cause you're older? More mature? Balls, Ren. You're just a 12 year old in a man's body. S**t, you still look like a kid."

"I guess that's a good thing. And unfortunately I could go to jail for punching someone in the face now."

Ren walked out of his room and Aya followed behind him. He hopped over the last three steps of the staircase and made his way outside. He closed the door after Aya slipped through and locked it. The two of them started to walk out of the cul-de-sac Ren lived in. He pulled a cigarette out from a box in his pocket and then slipped it in between his lips.

"Hard to quit, huh?" Aya said, staring down at the floor.

"F**k yeah. Kicking this habit is like quitting video games. Cept- video games are cool, so I wouldn't quit them."

"So- let's go out. Let's go rampage on the town. Let's go do something amazing. Something actually stimulating! You can't just stay inside all day! Let's f**k someone's life up! Other than yours, of course."

"First of all, I don't stay inside all day. I went to chick-fil-a earlier, thank you very much! And second of all, what can we do? I don't have a lot of money, you know? I got things to save up for. I got bills to help pay for. I have a lot to do and I have a lot on my mind."

Ren flicked a lighter and the flame jumped up against the end of his cigarette. He took in a deep puff. A soothing puff. One that made him feel relaxed. His head felt a little lighter and he felt chill. The pair continued walking around the neighborhood unbothered. No one else was out to make noise. It was just them. Aya growled after the silence started to annoy her.

"You know, you use to take a lot of risk when you were a teen!"

"You think?"

"What the hell are you doing now? Conforming?! You HATE society. Now you're just going along with where ever the stupid current pushes you! Who are you trying to impress?! No one cares about you right now! No one really gives two s***s about a Bachelors in Psychology! No one cares about you at work! They ask more about your mom than you! Isn't this painful enough?! Why are we still here?! Why aren't we doing something else?!"

Ren lifted a hand up, trying to silence the sudden rage that erupted from the girl. Her sudden outburst had hit his heart like a sharp blade. He brought the cigarette to his lips, puffing in a good amount of the poison before blowing it out in a long stream of smoke.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know where I'm heading. I'm just lost. I'm f*****g lost. I wish I could just fix everything, but I can't. I'm not strong enough."

Aya just stared at him after he responded. She shoved him a bit and glared fiercely after doing so.

"I was hoping you'd give me an answer that didn't suck."

"Believe me, if I had one, you would have gotten it."

"I know. Sorry. I'm as sick of this as you are. I wish we could just beat the crap out of all the people who piss you off. But you're restraining so much of yourself. It's not good. Why don't you go get mad? Why don't you make a mess? You can always clean it up later. You might actually feel alive."

"You know, you'd be a good advocate for satan."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Aya smiled for the first time during their meeting tonight. She skipped along beside Ren as he finished his cigarette, flicking it off onto the side of the road.

"You know what bothers me most, Ren?"

"Hm?"

"How you give up and make excuses."

"I-"

"It's really sad. You're a good guy. Why the hell are you allowing yourself to only progress this much? You're destined for more."

"I used to believe that."

"That's what I mean! You used to believe that, but then you gave up! Why?! Cause your stupid dad runs his mouth a lot and you actually let it hurt you? Because there are so many people that doubt you, that you even started to doubt yourself? Back when we first met, you were always proving people wrong. They said you couldn't rap... you started writing every night. You wrote better s**t than the crap I hear on the radio! They said you couldn't dance, you went to a dance competition and did your damn best! I mean, sure it wasn't a winning performance, but you did it. And even though I know I said it didn't matter last time- you graduated from college. But now what are you amounting to, Ren? Sitting in front of monitors, waiting for something amazing to happen? Why don't you make amazing things happen again?"

"For christ sake! Aya, it's not that easy! I have to think about a job, and the future, and getting money. I can't just- waste my time doing stupid things anymore. I'm grown-up."

"You're still a kid."

"I'm f*****g 25."

"And you still live at home with your parents."

"That's by choice!"

"Why?"

"Be...because..."

"Ren." Aya slapped her hand down on his shoulder and stopped the two of them from moving.

"I'm not normally one for cheering people up.I'm not good with the s**t. But listen, you need to get out of here. You need to go find a better place somewhere. Letting yourself be chained down here, in this place, in this s****y city is not going to help you one bit. You and I know your mentality is fucked- but you're not stupid. You're far from it. So snap out of it and do something already."

"..."

"Good night."

With that, the purple haired girl left him standing in the middle of the street. Ren watched her back as she walked into the darkness between some houses. Then she was gone. He shook his head and muttered.

"You're right- but what can I do?"

He walked home alone. Staring down at his cell phone, he saw 2 missed calls. Both were from Lindon. He shut his phone off and laid down in his bed. He stared at the ceiling and spoke to whoever was listening.

"If this is how it's supposed to be- f**k your plan..."

And then he blacked out.


© 2011 Chaos Complex


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Reviews

? I'm guessing you's know the person behind Chaos Complex...
But anyway, I like this story thing. :D

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I wish you would keep writing this, hun. Gee, wonder who the two girls are? Hmmm. ;)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good.
As I was reading, the two girls reminded me of exact opposites. One's like the divl and the other's like an angel.
Love to read more of this !

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 28, 2010
Last Updated on June 21, 2011
Tags: depression, self-help, hope


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Chaos Complex
Chaos Complex

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I like to express my emotions and feelings in poetry. I write a lot of rap/hip hop stuff. I'm really vulgar. Deal with it. I don't get many reviews, but thank you to those who even bother to re.. more..

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