7 Deadly Sins Sonnets -#4 Greed

This is the fourth of seven sonnets concerning the Seven Deadly Sins, as defined by the Catholic Church. They are older poems that I wrote in High School.

Penny-pinching, greedily taking.

All the wealth and money you can get.

Under the same pressure they are breaking.

You never leave anything, not a bit.

You have become increasingly selfish

Taking all the money we used to have.

Now you are acting extremely boorish,

The anxiety will not let you live.

But Generosity and charity

May save you from eternally burning.

But Charity is such a rarity.

For you, you will surely end up cooking.

You try to make all of your money bred.

The Fourth deadly sin, is powerful greed.

Reviews

[Nyghtmare13]

I will be rewriting this when I get a chance.

[Nusquam Esse]

I would see if you can't redo the rhyming scheme for live/have, it is a weak rhyme. Closest I can think of to have is half, like in, "Your never satisfied with just your half" But you may just be better off making a new rhyming pair. And the 2nd to last sentence should be breed, not bred. And while not strictly necessary, I personally avoid using 'ing' rhymes unless they share more to their sound. ex. Concerning would be a better rhyme with burning than cooking. Also recommend going through and counting syllables on each line, and getting them to conform to a meter, iambic pentameter is particularly popular in sonnets. It will help it flow better, and while not strictly necessary, following this convention does allow one to make poems with deliberate pacing.