Diamond

Trying a shape poem.

On
my way
to see you
I wonder about
the ring in my pocket
and if it is good enough for
a beautiful, yet fussy woman such
as yourself. The diamond is not real.
It's only silver, not gold,  platinum.
You will probably laugh at me
not seeing the truth of
what it represents.
The heart I
 give to
you.

Reviews

[Akira Kodama]

Not exactly an exciting or "interesting" piece, but not bad. Rings and jewelry anger me quite a bit, and even moreso the materialistic people who go crazy over them. The rings themselves do not matter, but it is - like you said - representative of a greater thing/force/whatever.

[Debbie_Philly]

beautiful.... and I think as long as its from the heart... it doesn't have to cost allot... not for me anyway !! Great job !!

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you, I appreciate that you feel this way, I think it shows a lot of character and soul.

[Sam]

The meaning behind the gift is always more important. Touching and beautifully penned thank you for sharing.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you for reading and commenting! I had fun with this one and yet it also rings (no pun intended) true for me.

[Sam]

Life experiences sometimes make for the best writes. Comes from the heart more naturally than something we have no clue what it is. Great job my friend.

[Riding the Rainbow]

Beautiful.
You touched my heart with it.
Thank you.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Awww thank you, a very nice comment. :)

[Emily B]

the heart shines brighter than any diamond ever could

[OBWhiteHawk]

I agree completely. And in many ways it lasts longer too. ;)

[Emily B]

my rings got stolen a few weeks ago, because sometimes no good deed can go unpunished . . . i told myself that the shame was my own, not respecting what i had

one of these days there may be another :) Raising Hope was just about the mother losing her engagement ring . . . seems to be the theme for today

[Sami Khalil]

I love this poem , the shape of a diamond and the message behind it...Well done...:)

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thanks, man. It was a lot of fun to do it, too.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Rita L. Sev]

This is a great piece - perfect shape to reflect the topic, and the words flow well. I like the emotion shown here - that the gift is not the ring, but the heart that gives it... Well done!

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thanks maybe next time I will try a heart shaped poem lol.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I like it...you did a great job with the shape. The person that is giving you the ring should matter more than if it is real or not...I mean I guess it is nice to get a real one but as long as the person truly loves them that means much more than an expensive ring that can be lost or damaged, though I guess any ring could be lost or damaged xD

Good Job

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you so much. I agree that the love and feelings of the person giving the ring is much more important than the ring itself. :)

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You're welcome ^^

[Katerina]

I like it. Is this your first shape poem? It doesn't seem like it is. It's also very romantic, and silver is better then gold in my opinion, it looks better.

[OBWhiteHawk]

It's actually my second one, lol. Thanks for reading and commenting. Silver is definitely more affordable than gold, so its good you like it better. :)