My Last Time With You

My Last Time With You

A Story by Sidian
"

This is for cat, my baby that left me unexpectedly. Writing from her perspective. I hope I'll see you again.

"

I awake in an unfamiliar place. It's bright here and quiet. I wander around searching for my human mother.


After some time, I find her. I run to her meowing happily but she doesn't seem to see or hear me. I try rubbing up against her leg but still nothing. Something isn't right here. I jump onto the coffee table to look at her face. Expressionless, she sits on the couch listening to music. She looks drunk or maybe stoned. Tears stream from her red eyes and fall all the way down to her chin. I tilt my head to one side in confusion. Why is she sad? I'm right here, there's no reason for her to cry. I mew again, jumping onto her lap this time. This isn't right though. I'm not actually with my mother anymore, am I? She can't see me, hear me or feel me. I see she's holding my peacock toy tightly, her tears still falling down her face. I still do not understand why she's so sad and why she's ignoring me. I jump off her lap as I feel her get ready to stand up from the couch.


She confirms my speculation that she's been drinking when I follow her to the kitchen and watch her grab a bottle of amber-colored liquid. I don't understand how humans drink the stuff, I've smelled it before and that was enough for me. It smells like it leads to death. Death? That word alone makes my ears perk up. Could I possibly be? No. But it would make sense why she doesn't notice me. But that can't be right. Surely she's just having a bad day and drank too much to care about my presence. It's happened before. But she always cares about my presence. I lost sight of her but hear her crying in the basement and so I go around the corner and watch her from the top of the stairs. She's on the ground crying and trying to clean up the mess I had made outside of my litter box. Why is she crying over my mess? She's never cried over my messes, nor has she been upset over it. I was sick for a long time, throwing up my food. Although I was hungry all the time. Mother would get annoyed with me when I fought for her food. I've been feeling better so far today since I found my way home to her though. 


Sure enough, after a few minutes, my mother begins to babble out what seems to be some sort of incoherent language with whatever song is playing in her headphones. She gets up and clumsily climbs the stairs. I back away for her and see she has a fist full of my long fur as she passes by me. Why is she holding my old fur when she could be holding me? She grabs the amber-colored bottle and drinks from it while walking back into the living room. I get a listen from the music coming out of her headphones. Songs describing 'death' and 'love' in many ways I'd never heard. 


"I have to wait till I get to the other side

Just to see you, just to see you

I have to wait till I get to the other side

'Cause I never got to say goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye"


The other side? She puts my fur inside a jewelry box in the shape of a butterfly and takes yet another sip from the bottle. She starts singing along with the music again, struggling to get the words out of her mouth as her crying gets heavier. 


"If I would have known

I can't say what I would have done

If you could forgive

I'd like to rest with you someday"


I'd like to rest with you too, mom. She cries out, bawling and screaming. I start crying out with her although she can't hear me. I understand why now. I was in denial, but I understand now. I remembered her crying when I last saw her before today. I don't know how many days have passed but I wasn't home and she wasn't the last person I'd seen. I was being taken care of until my heart gave out in the middle of the night. 


Mom gets up off the floor and her crying slows. I get up as well and follow her to the bedroom. I wish I had gotten better. I remember being promised my favorite food to share with her if I did. I fought my hardest but my body just couldn't keep up, I had been sick for too long. I did my hardest to keep it from her as best I could until I couldn't anymore. Seeing mom like this makes me want to stay forever but I know I can't stay much longer. This isn't my world anymore. I'll still visit from time to time, to see if she's smiling yet. I jump onto the bed and although she doesn't know I'm here, I hope she can at least sense my presence. She's curled up in a ball and yawns. I'm feeling sleepy too so I curl up into a ball next to her stomach. I'll stay here until she falls asleep. I don't know when I'll get to visit her next but I hope she's still here and finally wakes up with a smile on her face.

© 2022 Sidian


Author's Note

Sidian
This was as hard to write as it was to edit but I did my best. It took a long time to get through that I had to leave and keep coming back to it at a later date. This is the best it'll probably be.

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Added on July 14, 2022
Last Updated on July 14, 2022
Tags: grief, death, love, pet, cat, family, short story, lyrics

Author

Sidian
Sidian

MN



About
Years ago I used to write, then I lost myself and had terrible writer's block for years. Recently I've started writing again and need somewhere to share my work. A lot of it may be repetitive, about t.. more..

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