What I should have said in the beginning

She's kept this secret for almost a month up until now. Or can she come up with a convincing lie?

I should have told the truth right away. It feels horrendous keeping this dirty little secret that it’s killing me. I’ve been taking the drugs Mike throws at me, although I probably could just flush them down the toilet. The problem with that though is keeping my mouth shut sober. I couldn’t do it. The heroin shuts my emotions up and keeps me quiet. I have to keep this from the man I love. He can’t know. Except, it seems he’ll find out today.

I hear his heavy footsteps as he comes downstairs and throws a small bag filled with powder at me. “Explain why I’ve found drugs in my room. Now.”

I stare back at him with fear and guilt, doing my best to come up with a convincing lie. I just sit on the couch in silence. He leans down to me, one of his hands on my thigh. His stare hardens as he waits for me to answer.

“I said now Angel.” He said it in such a calm manner yet it cut like a knife at the same time. It sent shivers down my spine and I finally give him an answer.

“Alex. I got it from Alex. He got it for me from Mike so I didn’t have to go to him myself. I won’t do it again, I’m sorry.” It kills me to lie. I wanted him to know I didn’t want this. I so, so badly wanted him to know that Mike was violating me. Threatening me.

“Did you ask Alex to get it for you or did he get you hooked on this s**t?” I bit my lip.

“I asked. I just wanted to feel good, it helps me sleep. I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do it anymore.” That’s even more of a lie but it just means I’ll have to hide it better. He stands up straight and then leans against the wall, resting his head. We’ve been surrounded by silence for a few minutes then he lets out a sadistic laugh.

“I hate it when you don’t listen to me, you know? And you know what happens when you don’t listen, right?” He turns around and grabs the small bag containing the drugs. He then waves it in my face.

“This is mine now. I don’t want you on this s**t, understood?” I nodded. “Now, I have to leave for an important meeting. I want you to sit on that damn couch and think about what you did. We will finish this talk later.”

And just like that, he grabs his keys and leaves, not bothering to let me say another word. I wonder what would have happened if I told the truth to begin with. At least this gives me time to think of what to say later… right?

Author's Note

If you read 'Keeping a Secret' first then this will make sense. If not, I recommend you read that first. Trigger Warning on sexual assault with the first one.