My Imaginary Lover

The power of imagination

I walk down the black streets, illuminated with the yellow light of the street lamps above me, and I laugh out loud. You smile your seductive half-smile, pleased with yourself that you can make me smile. You whisper silently in my ear about the woman that runs past us and down the street towards the scintillating lights of traffic. A small, chill wind sweeps off the Puget Sound and I realize I have forgotten my coat. You lay your warm arm, softly around my shoulders, and I feel the comforting weight. I lean into you and I wonder...

My sweet lasher...

I look up at the velvety sky, seeing the dark blue rim on the western horizon with Venus, the bright evening star, slowly lowering itself below the watery rim. I sigh and pull my shirt closer around me, with the sinking weight of loneliness in my gut. Longing fills my eyes and threatens to spill and how I wish...

That you were real.

I sit on the pier and look at you sitting next to me. I watch your brow furrow as you concentrate on the rumbling waves, breathing in the sharp scent of the salty night air. I smile as you look up at me and you start to talk about the waves and their tides, describing the patterns, the power, the myths, the beauty...I just stare at you and watch your animated face. A dog bursts from behind a warehouse, running down the street. It captures my attention and you fall silent as you turn to see.

My sweet lasher...

The long beach seems desolate without the cool, soft touch of the rising moon light. I look up at the clear sky and wonder where She is. I slide off the pier and onto the sand. I am tempted to slide off my shoes and squish the wet sand between my toes. I wonder how much more beautiful it would seem if I could share it with someone...if I could share it with you. If only...

You were real.

I sit on the edge, where the dry meets the wet sand, and I give in to temptation. I slide my feet out of my nifty shoes and bury them under the cool sand. Not long after my pants are discarded and I run to meet the pounding waves. The first powerful shove hits like an icy blast of clarity. I wonder if you are real and I wonder if I will ever find you. Or, as the sane part of my brain reminds me, you are just a figment of my overactive imagination. I push that away. You can't be in my head, alone. I will wait until I find you in this life or the next. Keep the gift only you can open. Until then I stand, in sweet, blissful loneliness, in the freezing water as you jump in, joining me... together...

My imaginary lover...