Who are you to call me broken?

Who are you to call me broken?

A Poem by October

 

You’re crushing my bones and using them as water.
I want to put this place a flame.
Find someone I can smother.
 
There’s no one around so I’m to blame.
They drink the blood right out of my veins,
Like a vampire.
 
I want to take a hammer to this town.
To their brains,
To this sound.
Want to get some water,
Watch them drown.
 
Want to twist back your hands,
Grabbing at my heart.
I want to turn to ash,
Head back to the start.
 
Who are you to call me broken?
Who are you to look at me that way?
Who are you? You dirty w***e?
You can’t take what I have in store.
 
I could burn the world,
Laugh and watch it die.
I could burn the world,
Who are you fooling?
It’s all just a lie.
 
Who are you to call me broken?
Who are you to look at me that way?
Who are you to yell my name?
I’ve nothing left to say.

© 2008 October


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How hostile... it gives me a heavy feeling reading it. It brings me to a livid low point, a level of darkness and projected hatred that gives me goosebumps. It's penned very simply, the structure is a bit inconsistent... but it's jaggedness, it's lack of fine-tuned crafting... it charms me. In a twisted sort of way. It is this reason why I love to read the works of fellow amateur poets. The feelings are raw and the words are clumsy, and the feeling is all there. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I want to take a hammer to this town.
To their brains, To this sound.
Want to get some water,Watch them drown

Love these lines and wish i could do this to someone, thanks for the review.

Posted 10 Years Ago


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JRB
angry feelings running head on in the the night of lost hope,
Jan/uisiom

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frighteningly Good and Angry

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 16, 2008

Author

October
October

Decatur, AL



About
Quiet. Disturbed. Insane. more..

Writing
You woke up. You woke up.

A Poem by October