Inner Indecision

Inner Indecision

A Poem by Odayin

You're like a failed experiment,
Everything you do is wrong,
You're like steel missing flint,
And you really don't belong.
You think you're right,
Think you can teach,
Like you bring the light,
But you're actually the leech.

You think you can play,
But I'm not to be caught,
I'll make sure you stay,
Never get what you sought.

But really, you're a paradox,
A simple contradiction,
Sneaky, stealthy, like a fox,
You're becoming an addiction.

You're getting inside,
Causing too much pain,
Writing the history I've lied,
Started your own reign,
Smothering what I wanted to be,
Saying that rough is flat.
You've destroyed me...
And I love you for that.

© 2012 Odayin


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Wow!!! *eyes wide* First I like the rhyme ...Secondly I like the rhythm... Thirdly I like how you placed each thought... Fourth ---I simply love it!!! Okay...I can see a person sitting staring across the crowded room...eyes fixated on their object of confusion. Breaking down everything there is which embodies that object...makes them a drawing force not to be ignored...makes them elusive to be caught...makes them a consistent wonder to the one who wants. Even though, the one watching knows the answers to all this, also can't help themselves...caught in an endless attraction...unable to shake the desire for more. All while he watches her laugh...she has no idea the havoc she reaps in her wake. :) Always you draw me into your work..though in this case one may have to know you to make the connections your friend says you made. Either way...Brilliant piece!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Gallons. I don't think I've ever seen one of your poems flow as well. I'm thoroughly impressed on this one..and...I like what it was about. the relations you made I never would have thought of

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Odayin

8 Years Ago

Heh heh heh heh
Oh my god I love this. I'm favoriting it immediately. This is amazing, honestly. The rhymes, the way the character slowly sinks deeper and deeper into the spell/confusion... its absolutely perfect.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Odayin

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much Sophie! You made me smile:)
Sophie

9 Years Ago

Smiling is good :D

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335 Views
3 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 14, 2012
Last Updated on September 19, 2012
Tags: Inner, indecision, fight, debate, contradiction, addiction, love, live, outsider, faith

Author

Odayin
Odayin

MA



About
I'm just one of many trying to find a little more about life by observing everything in it; from the people, to nature, to every separate personality, my mind and thoughts have smoothed by the blessin.. more..

Writing
Cold Cold

A Poem by Odayin