Tale of love

Tale of love

A Poem by OhSnapShley
"

A short poem about family and love.

"
She said, 
"With every breath, I breathe it's all for you"
and she promised too, 
so what was left for me to lose?
My heart fluttered at her words, 
because this time it'd be different for sure, 
so I recanted everything I had to say, 
only to watch her walk away.

He said, 
"I can't do this again, maybe we are better off as friends"
but he saw the pain in her eyes, 
and once more offered to swallow his pride, 
putting all their differences aside, 
her smile felt like a million lies, 
but he stayed,
waiting for her to walk away.

Now they pray in silence for each other, 
both promising to never love another, 
but God had other plans in mind, 
and their love grew stronger with the passing time, 
as the life they created grew, 
and the two of them became three,
only then did they realize what love should be.

© 2019 OhSnapShley


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Featured Review

Wow! This is a solemn and powerful poem! I love the progression that the narrative bears. If I may call you on a couple of technical errors:

- "lose" not "loose" (in Stanza 1)
- "I can't do this again/Maybe we are better off as friends" (better flow and musicality and aesthetics with a line break there).

This is otherwise amazing. There's a world of interpretation in every line, and you weave a gripping tale out of these three stanzas. Much enjoyed! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emipoemi

3 Years Ago

Forgot "he'd seen" or "he saw" (in Stanza 2)...."he seen" is grammatically incorrect.



Reviews

Wow! This is a solemn and powerful poem! I love the progression that the narrative bears. If I may call you on a couple of technical errors:

- "lose" not "loose" (in Stanza 1)
- "I can't do this again/Maybe we are better off as friends" (better flow and musicality and aesthetics with a line break there).

This is otherwise amazing. There's a world of interpretation in every line, and you weave a gripping tale out of these three stanzas. Much enjoyed! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

emipoemi

3 Years Ago

Forgot "he'd seen" or "he saw" (in Stanza 2)...."he seen" is grammatically incorrect.

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Added on June 20, 2017
Last Updated on January 16, 2019

Author

OhSnapShley
OhSnapShley

FL



About
I've been writing for most of my life. Its always been my outlet. So I started this page to get some more of my stuff out there. If you like something or even if you hate it I want to know. I think fe.. more..

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A Poem by OhSnapShley