Lavender smells

Lavender smells

A Poem by OhSnapShley

Lavender smells touch my nose
the familiar aroma brings back fond thoughts
as I pull the sheets to my chin
day dreaming for a second
then like a bolt of lightning 
popping up out of the bed

She's here
somewhere near 
I want to dash from room to room
but with a thudding heart
and litefeet
I float through the house 
calling her name

Shes left a trail of smells 
for me to follow and find her
we've played this game before
she leaves her favorite flower
and i follow it until i can't follow 
anymore

At last I see her
her bright eyes just gleam
at the simple sight of me
and for a second
I realize
that she plays this game for her
just as much as for I...

© 2017 OhSnapShley


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Featured Review

Another gem!! So solemn, so profound, and so compelling! Wonderful! Again, you have some technicalities you need to address:

-"daydreaming" is one word.
- I think you're wanting to say "light feet" (I have no idea what "litefeet" is)
-"just as much as for ME" ("for I" is grammatically incorrect.....and here especially it doesn't sound particularly good, so I wouldn't advise declaring poetic license on it).

Other than that, this, I repeat, is amazing! Absolutely fantastic! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Another gem!! So solemn, so profound, and so compelling! Wonderful! Again, you have some technicalities you need to address:

-"daydreaming" is one word.
- I think you're wanting to say "light feet" (I have no idea what "litefeet" is)
-"just as much as for ME" ("for I" is grammatically incorrect.....and here especially it doesn't sound particularly good, so I wouldn't advise declaring poetic license on it).

Other than that, this, I repeat, is amazing! Absolutely fantastic! Well done!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Have you ever considered a poetry book? You'd sell! :-)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

OhSnapShley

3 Years Ago

I totally would!
I didn't really know what to expect when looking at the title, but I was not one bit disappointed. Good choice by writing it in a lavender color, it creates this sort of innocence to the poem. Keep it up

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hide nd seek kind of game following the lavender smell..

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love the feel of this poem. The cat and mouse game of following lavender scent.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hmm... A playful write with wisps of agony throughout... Is the game one of pain, or endless enthusiasm... Gleamingly penned...

Posted 4 Years Ago


OhSnapShley

4 Years Ago

I did indeed leave that idea up for the reader to determine. Glad you liked this one as well. Thanks.. read more
DylanChase

4 Years Ago

No problem
I love how your words match with the font colour and the image too. Beautiful imagery in this write. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


OhSnapShley

4 Years Ago

Thanks YumnaKay!
Dr. YumnaKay

4 Years Ago

You're welcome, OSS! 😊
Love the colour, it's like a violet, not quite purple but a little pinkish hint of yellow!

What a great colour

Posted 4 Years Ago


OhSnapShley

4 Years Ago

It really is a great one! Thanks always for reading and reviewing.
i like the purple as it was effective with the poem in bringing me back to being a little kid running around that back yard in summer hiding behind the clotheslines. a beautiful poem.

Posted 4 Years Ago


OhSnapShley

4 Years Ago

Thanks so much for your kind words and the review. Its always nice to go back to those times.
You know this is very nice, but I would consider changing the title to something like "lavender scent." "Lavender smells" sounds a bit agrarian and frankly, the title makes it seem as though the poet doesn't like lavender. Overall, nicely done.

Posted 4 Years Ago


OhSnapShley

4 Years Ago

While I value your opinion I think I will keep the name as it is. While the title may be misleading,.. read more

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11 Reviews
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Added on June 27, 2017
Last Updated on June 28, 2017

Author

OhSnapShley
OhSnapShley

FL



About
I've been writing for most of my life. Its always been my outlet. So I started this page to get some more of my stuff out there. If you like something or even if you hate it I want to know. I think fe.. more..

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A Poem by OhSnapShley



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