Feeling it

Feeling it

A Story by Steve
"

It happened one night.

"

When I saw you   I knew

 

You had that look  The look that said yes

 

We had only been friends  This now changed

 

My mouth went dry   Your heart pounded

 

You smiled so sweet   My eyes so bright

 

I walked to you   You stood your space

 

You appeared unsure   My breathing was not

 

I sized you up   The momentum moved us

 

You stood in your area   The game was on

 

I touched your face   You didn't flinch

 

You looked up   I could hear your heart

 

You smiled sweetly   I kissed your lips

 

We knew

© 2011 Steve


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Featured Review

I love the breaks in the lines, like between "You smiled sweetly" and "I kissed your lips". I got a kind of rushed, unsure feeling from this, but that doesn't mean it's not written well or anything, that's just the tone I got. I liked it, though. Very sweet. :3

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Sometimes it just happens like this...We all love the little shocks that play across our skin the first time our hands touch !

I loved it !!!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I love how you ended it: "we knew" ... it's perfect. It's perfect because sometimes you don't have to say anything at all, when two people have a connect, it just happens.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is very nice. I, too, like the breaks in the lines, and the words are pure magic. A sweet, lovely piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the last few lines "You looked up I could hear your heart, You smiled sweetly I kissed your lips, We Knew" Its that what drives us, what connects us to another person? That is what we're all looking for, the connection and the knowing. Great job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the breaks in the lines, like between "You smiled sweetly" and "I kissed your lips". I got a kind of rushed, unsure feeling from this, but that doesn't mean it's not written well or anything, that's just the tone I got. I liked it, though. Very sweet. :3

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love it!!!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ah, fine depiction! the kiss, that first kiss is so telling. you portray that well with this piece. Nicely done Steve-O

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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435 Views
8 Reviews
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Added on March 10, 2011
Last Updated on March 10, 2011

Author

Steve
Steve

NV



About
I am a new writer here. I want get this stuff out of my head and put it online!! I find a great release to let go of intense, deep thoughts. I like to write stories and I have collaborated.. more..

Writing