Perspectives of Suicide

Suicide can often be seen as the only way out. It can be seen as a liberation. For others suicide is something different. Remember If you're dead you can't feel freedom. Choose life.

Watch me...

While I cut myself open

While my soul becomes unbroken

While I cry my last tear

While I get crushed of what I tried to bear

Watch me...

While I evaporate and fly high

While my hidden mind becomes a butterfly

While liberation stands on my doorstep

And I swift away without regret

I watch you...

While you strangle your strings of hope

While you get crushed by everything you tried to cope

While your tears take away the life in your eye

While you quietly fade away and die

I watch you...

While they sink your body to unknown depths

While I teareyed look at every glow of you I can get

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust"

Your soul slips away and I follow, left of me is a hollow crust

Author's Note

If you feel suicidal, remember that you don't only kill yourself, you kill your mother, your father, your siblings, your friends, everybody around you. You are loved, and you are never alone.

Choose life. ~I love you~

Reviews

[The Waterlily Pad]

I love how you shed light to a different corner in such a sensitive subject, and many need to realise your effort to prove that you are effecting people by your choices! And it's set in a unique form, eye catching and raises tension which most fail to achieve.


For improvement, perhaps a little more emphasis on maybe the fact that 'death leads to death'. You elaborate the victim's story very well, no question about it but the one who watches them can be hurt just as bad, maybe try to show a insight to their minds in a more open way. If someone close to me committed suicide, I'd ask my self in anguish and alarm and confusion: why did it go wrong?why? Try to express these forms more closely and your poem would be possibly even more flawless!!

[Omikron]

I cannot thank you enough for takin time to review my poem.
Thank you for your very constructive review, and I will take your advide to heart. Have a nice day :)

[The Waterlily Pad]

No problem! Talented as you are, I take it as a pleasure. I hope your having a great day,too.

[Mr.Writer]

Such an emotional, powerful write.
I agree, you ruin not only your lives, but your loved ones as well...
Well done, keep it up!

[Einstein Noodle]

the change of perspective from your speaker looking in, to looking out, is clever .. (not that I think that is a goal) but it is .. and presents me with an aspect of suicide, as when looking out, others' lives are seen as lacking hope as much as ones' introspections do .. i also like your notes to your readers .. as i join you in your appeal to choose life .. it is precious and love you too :)
E.

[Omikron]

Oh this is one of my very first poems here in the Cafe, it's fun to see how much my style and my views have changed, but at the same time the value stays the same. Thank you for reading and commenting, I'm glad it had that impact on you. :)

Love is best when shared.

// O

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .................