Perspectives of Suicide

Perspectives of Suicide

A Poem by Omikron
"

Suicide can often be seen as the only way out. It can be seen as a liberation. For others suicide is something different. Remember If you're dead you can't feel freedom. Choose life.

"
Watch me...
While I cut myself open
While my soul becomes unbroken
While I cry my last tear
While I get crushed of what I tried to bear

Watch me...
While I evaporate and fly high
While my hidden mind becomes a butterfly
While liberation stands on my doorstep
And I swift away without regret

I watch you...
While you strangle your strings of hope
While you get crushed by everything you tried to cope
While your tears take away the life in your eye
While you quietly fade away and die

I watch you...
While they sink your body to unknown depths
While I teareyed look at every glow of you I can get
"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust"
Your soul slips away and I follow, left of me is a hollow crust

© 2019 Omikron


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Author's Note

Omikron
If you feel suicidal, remember that you don't only kill yourself, you kill your mother, your father, your siblings, your friends, everybody around you. You are loved, and you are never alone.

Choose life. ~I love you~

My Review

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Featured Review

I love how you shed light to a different corner in such a sensitive subject, and many need to realise your effort to prove that you are effecting people by your choices! And it's set in a unique form, eye catching and raises tension which most fail to achieve.


For improvement, perhaps a little more emphasis on maybe the fact that 'death leads to death'. You elaborate the victim's story very well, no question about it but the one who watches them can be hurt just as bad, maybe try to show a insight to their minds in a more open way. If someone close to me committed suicide, I'd ask my self in anguish and alarm and confusion: why did it go wrong?why? Try to express these forms more closely and your poem would be possibly even more flawless!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Omikron

6 Years Ago

I cannot thank you enough for takin time to review my poem.
Thank you for your very construct.. read more
The Waterlily Pad

6 Years Ago

No problem! Talented as you are, I take it as a pleasure. I hope your having a great day,too.



Reviews

Such an emotional, powerful write.
I agree, you ruin not only your lives, but your loved ones as well...
Well done, keep it up!

Posted 4 Years Ago


the change of perspective from your speaker looking in, to looking out, is clever .. (not that I think that is a goal) but it is .. and presents me with an aspect of suicide, as when looking out, others' lives are seen as lacking hope as much as ones' introspections do .. i also like your notes to your readers .. as i join you in your appeal to choose life .. it is precious and love you too :)
E.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Omikron

5 Years Ago

Oh this is one of my very first poems here in the Cafe, it's fun to see how much my style and my vie.. read more
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

:) .................
I love how you shed light to a different corner in such a sensitive subject, and many need to realise your effort to prove that you are effecting people by your choices! And it's set in a unique form, eye catching and raises tension which most fail to achieve.


For improvement, perhaps a little more emphasis on maybe the fact that 'death leads to death'. You elaborate the victim's story very well, no question about it but the one who watches them can be hurt just as bad, maybe try to show a insight to their minds in a more open way. If someone close to me committed suicide, I'd ask my self in anguish and alarm and confusion: why did it go wrong?why? Try to express these forms more closely and your poem would be possibly even more flawless!!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Omikron

6 Years Ago

I cannot thank you enough for takin time to review my poem.
Thank you for your very construct.. read more
The Waterlily Pad

6 Years Ago

No problem! Talented as you are, I take it as a pleasure. I hope your having a great day,too.

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239 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 24, 2015
Last Updated on December 28, 2019
Tags: Death, Suicide, Depression, Life, Fly, Freedom, Liberation, Help

Author

Omikron
Omikron

Sweden



Writing