Mommy, I'm not crying anymore

Mommy, I'm not crying anymore

A Story by Omikron

It only took a moment, and then I decided. I decided that I was tired of the time that had passed, the time that was coming, the time I was experiencing now, time. 
I was tired of all the times I'd felt other's looks burning in my neck, even if they probably weren't looking at all. I was tired of feeling hollow, but still trying to find something to fill my empty space with. Was it air? Was it anger? Was it creativity?
All I know is that, it wouldn't go away. One cannot erase something that's already erased, one cannot empty an empty hole. 
I was tired of being afraid of the things I wasn't certain about, I was tired of entertaining myself because I couldn't explore the amusement of others, I was tired of realising that I had dug my own grave, and enjoyed every moment of it, and my award was the mud on my hands, dripping just like blood. 
I was tired of wanting to cry but that my supply of tears had run out a long time ago, I was tired of seeing the only person that tied me to this earth hurting, crying, crumbling down because of me. 
I was tired of convinsing myself of a light at the end of the tunnel, when in fact my tunnel was a closed room with four thick walls, slowly suffocating me.
I was tired. I am tired. I am tired of being tired.

I wish I could make it all right, mom. Don't cry when I'm gone...

Because mommy, I'm not crying anymore. 

© 2015 Omikron


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Added on August 16, 2015
Last Updated on August 16, 2015
Tags: Depression, Mom, Suicide, Can'ttakethisanymore, Poem, Omikron, Teen, Young-adult, Adult, Dark, Darkmess, My. Last, Goodbye, Bye

Author

Omikron
Omikron

Sweden



About
Black and white, white and black In simplicity is also diversity And complex infinity You are ugly, you are silenced Because the world Cannot understand your divinity ------ Darkness dresses .. more..

Writing