Mommy, I'm not crying anymore

Mommy, I'm not crying anymore

A Story by Omikron

It only took a moment, and then I decided. I decided that I was tired of the time that had passed, the time that was coming, the time I was experiencing now, time. 
I was tired of all the times I'd felt other's looks burning in my neck, even if they probably weren't looking at all. I was tired of feeling hollow, but still trying to find something to fill my empty space with. Was it air? Was it anger? Was it creativity?
All I know is that, it wouldn't go away. One cannot erase something that's already erased, one cannot empty an empty hole. 
I was tired of being afraid of the things I wasn't certain about, I was tired of entertaining myself because I couldn't explore the amusement of others, I was tired of realising that I had dug my own grave, and enjoyed every moment of it, and my award was the mud on my hands, dripping just like blood. 
I was tired of wanting to cry but that my supply of tears had run out a long time ago, I was tired of seeing the only person that tied me to this earth hurting, crying, crumbling down because of me. 
I was tired of convinsing myself of a light at the end of the tunnel, when in fact my tunnel was a closed room with four thick walls, slowly suffocating me.
I was tired. I am tired. I am tired of being tired.

I wish I could make it all right, mom. Don't cry when I'm gone...

Because mommy, I'm not crying anymore. 

© 2015 Omikron

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Added on August 16, 2015
Last Updated on August 16, 2015
Tags: Depression, Mom, Suicide, Can'ttakethisanymore, Poem, Omikron, Teen, Young-adult, Adult, Dark, Darkmess, My. Last, Goodbye, Bye




Black and white, white and black In simplicity is also diversity And complex infinity You are ugly, you are silenced Because the world Cannot understand your divinity ------ Darkness dresses .. more..