THE UNHAPPY GIRL

It is raining. I’m sitting on my bed, looking out the window. I’m listening to my Ipod, Spice Girl’s “let love lead the way” is playing and yeah I’m kind of relating to the second verse of the song. Right now, watching the world go by brings tears to my eyes and all I see is hurt and pain but I’m not about to break any chain. Love cannot lead the way when there is no love. I’m wondering instead what the point of it all is, my place in this universe and of what purpose. I have a few pictures of my happy moments stuck to my mirror, and I’m all smiles… oh! How I miss that smile! I haven’t been that happy in a really long time, I haven’t laughed in a long time, I mean real laugh… “From the bottom of my heart” kind of laugh, I have a few lines across my forehead as proof and not too long ago someone called me ‘the unhappy girl’. Have I really become the unhappy girl? The truth is… I want it all back, I want to feel those moments again, I want to feel love, I just want to be happy, I want to FEEL happy. But I think I’ve gone really deep into being unhappy and I don’t know how not be unhappy anymore and right now I feel nothing except hurt and pain.