Have you ever

Have you looked on the wall of your shower

and just stared at it for an hour

as the water hits your body like a warm rain

have you ever been so amazed at the million droplets on the wall

amazed at how closely you can relate them to your life

relate them to the millions of tears you've never shed but died to try

and with every droplet one trikles down to wipe  them away

have you ever considdered how significant that moment is

that with every drop that wipes away the rest was a tear that you

shed not of saddness but one of happy feeling

have you ever relised when you've been beaten inside how much you can truly take

that if in real life it would be broken bones and cuts so deep

scars of the past battles within that last

as you lye in your room as time ticks away and your inside feelings just wither away

have you ever felt numb to the extent of not caring of life or death

or even caring for others

have you ever been hurt to such a piont to where you build a demon inside

to take away the pain but in his service your a slave

with a thousand painfull memories eating you inside out

making you never feel anything but doubt

I have I can I am right now

for 18 years I've been in this hell called life

I've faced many painfull things but one defeats me everytime

the pain of lonelyness the root of all pain

causes you to turn causes you to change

were you were once known as loving and kind

your lonelyness is eating you inside

and no matter how hard your try

lonelyness will kill you inside

as you lie there in your room watching time fly by

you'll change to find that where you were nice and caring

you can be carless and daring

lonelyness is a curse a curse that follows love everywhere it goes

that's why love is a gift and a curse

because nothing lasts forever love is worse