He Said/She Said

You say:
come over to the table.

I say: nothing. just follow like a devoted thing

(a silly thing)

bereft of speech.

I arrive but you’ve gone already                                

(too fast)

The ring left by your coffee cup the only evidence that remains

Of you.

Of us.

I say:

come away from the ledge

You say: I’ll jump. To get away from you, dear. From us. I’m terrified.

Of you.

Of us.

You, dear

Don’t understand, dear.

That I love you, dear.

Always have, dear.

Will never tell you, dear

           But trace the outline over

          and

          over

          and

          over

          and

          over

          with my finger until the skin is worn away and I bleed into the groove and all of my pain seeps out of me and into the wood where it keeps it safe. Alive and separate from me.

I can see it just beneath the surface like a fish in a frozen pond. I cannot touch it. It cannot touch me (though it wants to is dying to is thirsty to is hungry to). It is there, wriggling and fighting and kicking and

Screaming. I am at  practiced peace here above it.

I pretend oblivion.