I Am Not An Artist.

How I feel as of 6:43 pm on November 9, 2009

I'm lost...
Stuck jerking haphazardly between broken chords and scratched vinyls,
Obnoxiously inconsistent contractions control my flailing limbs,
The puppet strings supporting me now coil around my neck like nooses,
Shallow breaths come to me in further and further intervals causing my lungs to scream,
"Damn this loop is tight!"

The words of Saul Williams echo in my ears like I'm in the Vatican,
But then I realize the Vatican never helped n****s like me,
Jesus imprisoned my soul; only music makes my spirit free,
And as I dwell on this latest development thinking I found my escape,
Break beats bumrush the stage and bash my brain into bits
So I hang there,

Limp,

Helpless.

Dream wakes me up and fills my belly,
My struggles left me empty and tired so I closed my eyes to rest.
Ambition arrives soon after and slaps me on the face...hard,
With this jolt I am made lucid and thus am thrust into the entirety of the moment.
"Time to go" She says so I cut myself down and begin to wander into the unknown.
Beats from Broken homes seek refuge by my aura so I comfort them,
Their molecules rearrange and as a result Hip Hop is formed in my image.

Ambition now controls my arms and legs in the puppet strings' stead,
Dream takes the reigns of my heart and as a result Happyness is never far away,
She now shapes my mind and this new perspective makes reality sing.

She helps me to execute Ambition's actions,
But Ambition's actions are driven by Dream's plans,
And Dream's plans can't see past Now,
So once again I'm lost...
'Cept this time,
Instead of losing Myself in the vastness of the World
The World is lost in the vastness of Me.

I am Toney Vega, and I am not an artist.

Author's Note

This kinda evolved into my manifesto...

Reviews

[Emily B]

Pleased to meet you Mr. Vega . . . I enjoyed this "Song of Myself". Personally, I believe every artist should have half a dozen of these little manifestos, one for every mood that we might have.

On another note, I might suggest you check out KUFU on this site and the Affrilachian poets. Norman Jordan read with them when they stopped by Berea last winter. Awesome stuff.

[Nicole]

I really like this, I like the flow and the emotion.
I could really relate.
My favorite line was:
"Jesus imprisoned my soul; only music makes my spirit free"
Good job. :)
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