As We Kiss

As We Kiss

A Poem by James Helm

The sun burns bright, its rays shine through trees
Your beauty divine, obscured in a shroud
A swarm of locusts, they follow you to me
Into our flesh, they carve every word we vowed

As we kiss

Your saliva sweet, succulent as your blood
Pouring from words, spoken from our love
Twilight comes, the locust swarm spirals up
Returning to their hive, in the tree tops above

As we kiss

© 2013 James Helm


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I enjoyed this. Short but sweet. Job good.

Posted 6 Years Ago


white shadows

6 Years Ago

I wish I had the time to write as much as I would like.
James Helm

6 Years Ago

I know what ya mean man.
Dick

6 Years Ago

Awesome!
i love this poet it's really great and it show's love and compassion:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


James Helm

6 Years Ago

Thank you!
ÅŁєxx ƒσx

6 Years Ago

anytime:)
An interesting idea for a poem...I like the juxtaposing images. The beauty and the bright rays of the sun and then the obscuring shroud and the locusts. My suggestion would be with the form...I would take out the first "as we kiss", italicise the second one as it's own stand alone line, then take out the one directly after the second large stanza and italicize the last line. You don't need the repetition of "as we kiss", I actually think it takes away from the overal magnetic quality of the piece. Anyway, just a suggestion. Otherwise, I quite liked the idea of this one :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


James Helm

6 Years Ago

Gratitude for the comment, I will be honest, I had to yahoo some of the words you used but that is a.. read more
Girl Friday (Sarah W.)

6 Years Ago

No problem! I'm always happy to help, that's what we're all here for! :)
I think this was written very well , sparks good imagery

Posted 6 Years Ago


James Helm

6 Years Ago

Always my goal.
I really like this; "It's" should be "its"...other than that, it's perfect :)

(Remember: It's = It is
its = shows possession of something)

Posted 6 Years Ago


James Helm

6 Years Ago

Gratitude for the comment and the correction. I am self taught in the language arts, any instruction.. read more

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

262 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 15, 2013
Last Updated on March 17, 2013
Tags: love, eternal, happyness, venom, venomous, kiss, kissing, fauna, blackness, swarm, locusts, forest trees sunlight, rays

Author

James Helm
James Helm

Wesley Chapel, FL



About
Hi, my name is James. I have been writing poetry off and on for several years but this is the first time I have gone public with any of my material. This girl is the one you have to thank for that. h.. more..

Writing