Deformed Heart

Deformed Heart

A Poem by James Helm
"

This is a duet. The stanzas with a *, are suppose to be sung by the male and the others, female.

"
 Sailing through lava, an endless molten river
 Dark is the sky, raining ashes and embers
 Of our love on fire, scorched by memory
 I pray to despair, "Please return him to me."

*Take my hand, I will lead you along
 This path, through my heart deformed
 As dark as it may get, you have to be strong
 I'm watching over you, even though I'm gone

 The flow carries me, I view the wasteland of your heart
 A raging inferno, its surface torn apart
 geysers of your scalding tears, erupt violently
 I pray to despair, "Please return him to me."

*Take my hand, I will lead you along
 This path, through my heart deformed
 As dark as it may get, you have to be strong
 I'm watching over you, even though I'm gone

© 2013 James Helm


Author's Note

James Helm
This is a duet. The stanzas with a *, are suppose to be sung by the male and the others, female.

My Review

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Reviews

Dear James

I adore the mixing of the arts, especially lyrics and music.

This cut it for me.

It is a love song in duet.

It reminded me, albeit as old as the hills of Sonny and Cher's "I want you babe'. The youtube link follows'.



Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.

James Hanna-Magill

6 Years Ago

Sonny and Cher 'I got you babe' rather.

Youtube link:

http://www.youtube.c.. read more
A unique write...the voices are both strong and easy to read/hear. I can see the merit of this as a song. I do agree with one of the other posters; perhaps some of the imagery is just a little too drawn out. Tighten this up a bit and it would be utterly beautiful.

Posted 6 Years Ago


James Helm

6 Years Ago

I have been considering it. Thanks for your comment and opinion. :)
Lovely. I'm playing with the melodies a bit. ;D

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rachel Anderson

6 Years Ago

My new answer is :8 !!!!!!
James Helm

6 Years Ago

lol. I'll tell you on okc.
Rachel Anderson

6 Years Ago

Haha okey doke. :)
Not bad. I feel like some of your imagery is a little overdone but you still manage to get your message across fairly well, and I think the duet concept is suited to the piece. Well done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 17, 2013
Last Updated on March 18, 2013
Tags: eternal, love, happyness, venom, venomous, kiss, kissing, fauna, blackness, swarm, locusts, forest trees sunlight, rays, Deformed, heart, shadows, loss, die, death, molten, lava, fantasy, world

Author

James Helm
James Helm

Wesley Chapel, FL



About
Hi, my name is James. I have been writing poetry off and on for several years but this is the first time I have gone public with any of my material. This girl is the one you have to thank for that. h.. more..

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