Deformed Heart

This is a duet. The stanzas with a *, are suppose to be sung by the male and the others, female.

 Sailing through lava, an endless molten river
 Dark is the sky, raining ashes and embers
 Of our love on fire, scorched by memory
 I pray to despair, "Please return him to me."

*Take my hand, I will lead you along
 This path, through my heart deformed
 As dark as it may get, you have to be strong
 I'm watching over you, even though I'm gone

 The flow carries me, I view the wasteland of your heart
 A raging inferno, its surface torn apart
 geysers of your scalding tears, erupt violently
 I pray to despair, "Please return him to me."

*Take my hand, I will lead you along
 This path, through my heart deformed
 As dark as it may get, you have to be strong
 I'm watching over you, even though I'm gone

Author's Note

This is a duet. The stanzas with a *, are suppose to be sung by the male and the others, female.

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear James

I adore the mixing of the arts, especially lyrics and music.

This cut it for me.

It is a love song in duet.

It reminded me, albeit as old as the hills of Sonny and Cher's "I want you babe'. The youtube link follows'.

[James Hanna-Magill]

Sonny and Cher 'I got you babe' rather.

Youtube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_VKuivXAYs

Well written. I would love to hear the song.


With my warmest regards


James

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A unique write...the voices are both strong and easy to read/hear. I can see the merit of this as a song. I do agree with one of the other posters; perhaps some of the imagery is just a little too drawn out. Tighten this up a bit and it would be utterly beautiful.

[James Helm]

I have been considering it. Thanks for your comment and opinion. :)

[Rachel Anderson]

Lovely. I'm playing with the melodies a bit. ;D

[James Helm]

:D :) :/ ;) :x :8 which face is fake?

[Rachel Anderson]

:/ ?

[James Helm]

nope, :8 You were going to get a prize if you got it right.

[Rachel Anderson]

Dang! What prize?

[James Helm]

That is classified information. I would be hunted down by the fuzz if I told you. Hope you understand.

[Rachel Anderson]

You know my curiosity is insatiable! Lol, can I change my answer?

[James Helm]

I will think about it. :p

[Rachel Anderson]

My new answer is :8 !!!!!!

[James Helm]

lol. I'll tell you on okc.

[Rachel Anderson]

Haha okey doke. :)

[Trigorin]

Not bad. I feel like some of your imagery is a little overdone but you still manage to get your message across fairly well, and I think the duet concept is suited to the piece. Well done.