Veil Over Good

 I can't crack that armor,

Can't break it's shell,

I wish I could see you,

If only you I could tell.

 I love you as well,

As you love me.

 You've donned quite a seal,

Locking out the bad,

The ugly concealed.

 If only you knew,

You've donned a veil,

Over the good as well.

 If there was such a way,

To peal back that shell,

That fake shroud away,

And see you for who you are and not what you've done,

And breach that armor,

You've so critically donned.

 I could tell you,

Life's not a joke,

I love you,

Quit with the hoax.

 If only you could see,

Undon that armor,

And come back to me.

Author's Note

I would love to see how each of you interpret this piece. And constructive criticism would be welcomed.

Reviews

I enjoyed reading this. You do an impressive job at capturing the speaker's feelings in your poetry, for that I commend you.

Your rhyming scheme is unconventional, but very astute. Your rhythm is straightforward, and I think the one long line is important because that sums up the speaker's feelings quite simply- (S)He wants their companion because of who they are, not what mistakes they have made in life.

I appreciate the sentiment in this piece, though I cannot truly relate to the experience, this gives very much insight into what it would be like to have the experience of being shut out by someone.

Bravo.

[Dove]

Beautiful. I had a swell time reading this piece. Amazing job

[Ruth]

All too easy to cloak the emotions if someone is not there and realising!
The flow to this is lovely, keeps the readers attention and the imagery is vivid and yearnfully strong, lovely work :)
xoxo

[LinBin]

Another wonderful written piece that seeks the truth behind the mask we all wear from time to time x

[Sapph]

My interpretation of this is that it tells a story almost of how a lover can hide behind a facade or a suit of armour, in order to lie to their partner about who they truly are as a person. I liked the language used, rather emotive and the rhyming is accurate and fitting, a good poem!

[Margarette]

I love a romantic poem like this one. Although it has become a one-sided at that, it still shows the growing love of the narrator even after the person left. Great piece!

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Beautiful, just beautiful.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very powerful poem. I like how you use the description. I believe the armor is a safety and someone is trying to break in. I like the desire in the ending. Could be many reasons for the need and want of someone to come back. Than you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Dayran]

In some places, the faithful will buy flowers for her, make little of the situation, offer jokes, say she doesn't mean it......essentially to woo her back again. She might like that. Question might be, ' Are you man enough to do it?' A poem of great adoration, offered to the gallery but not to her.

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

this was AMAZING !!!