Veil Over Good

Veil Over Good

A Poem by P.H. Carver

 I can't crack that armor,

Can't break it's shell,

I wish I could see you,

If only you I could tell.


 I love you as well,

As you love me.


 You've donned quite a seal,

Locking out the bad,

The ugly concealed.


 If only you knew,

You've donned a veil,

Over the good as well.


 If there was such a way,

To peal back that shell,

That fake shroud away,

And see you for who you are and not what you've done,

And breach that armor,

You've so critically donned.


 I could tell you,

Life's not a joke,

I love you,

Quit with the hoax.


 If only you could see,

Undon that armor,


And come back to me.

© 2011 P.H. Carver


Author's Note

P.H. Carver
I would love to see how each of you interpret this piece. And constructive criticism would be welcomed.

My Review

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Featured Review

I enjoyed reading this. You do an impressive job at capturing the speaker's feelings in your poetry, for that I commend you.

Your rhyming scheme is unconventional, but very astute. Your rhythm is straightforward, and I think the one long line is important because that sums up the speaker's feelings quite simply- (S)He wants their companion because of who they are, not what mistakes they have made in life.

I appreciate the sentiment in this piece, though I cannot truly relate to the experience, this gives very much insight into what it would be like to have the experience of being shut out by someone.

Bravo.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Beautiful. I had a swell time reading this piece. Amazing job

Posted 10 Years Ago


All too easy to cloak the emotions if someone is not there and realising!
The flow to this is lovely, keeps the readers attention and the imagery is vivid and yearnfully strong, lovely work :)
xoxo

Posted 10 Years Ago


Another wonderful written piece that seeks the truth behind the mask we all wear from time to time x

Posted 10 Years Ago


My interpretation of this is that it tells a story almost of how a lover can hide behind a facade or a suit of armour, in order to lie to their partner about who they truly are as a person. I liked the language used, rather emotive and the rhyming is accurate and fitting, a good poem!

Posted 10 Years Ago


I love a romantic poem like this one. Although it has become a one-sided at that, it still shows the growing love of the narrator even after the person left. Great piece!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Beautiful, just beautiful.

Posted 10 Years Ago


A very powerful poem. I like how you use the description. I believe the armor is a safety and someone is trying to break in. I like the desire in the ending. Could be many reasons for the need and want of someone to come back. Than you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


In some places, the faithful will buy flowers for her, make little of the situation, offer jokes, say she doesn't mean it......essentially to woo her back again. She might like that. Question might be, ' Are you man enough to do it?' A poem of great adoration, offered to the gallery but not to her.

Posted 10 Years Ago


this was AMAZING !!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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896 Views
18 Reviews
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Added on October 28, 2011
Last Updated on October 28, 2011
Tags: veil, over, good, armor, breach, shell, come, back

Author

P.H. Carver
P.H. Carver

NC



About
I have much to learn and the time to learn it. I've been reading books since I learned how, but the whole world of writing is new to me. I love making new friends. "Blessed are those, Who write .. more..

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