Heat

Beneath the ground,

heat suffocates.

It slithers past stones

And tempts the desirable. 

It lingers on your lip, 

Until the evening melts.

And yet,

Its presence never fades.

It wants more for 

It craves the touch of skin.

It awaits 

The obstinate moon

With the burning gaze of a 

Lonely man.

Yet, despite the said stories

Of the forgotten, 

It only seeks one thing.

The sight of water,

Shining above the growing sun. 

Author's Note

Finally, inspiration has managed to capture me. Please tell me your thoughts.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Great read – really enjoyed the atmosphere created with your write! However, if you do not mind a suggestion – perhaps to add a more dynamic format structure you may consider revamping the stanzas as follows:

Beneath the ground
Heat suffocates

It slithers past stones
And tempts the desirable

It lingers on your lip
Until the evening melts

And yet,
Its presence never fades

It wants more for
It craves the touch of skin

It awaits
The obstinate moon

With the burning gaze
Of a lonely man

Yet despite
The said stories

Of the forgotten
It only seeks one thing

The sight of water
Shining above the growing sun

Hope this is OK by you … :-)

[PandaPeaceful]

I completely agree with you. Thank you for your review!

[barleygirl]

I love the way you reach for many different & unexpected ways to show us “heat”! I get the idea from your authors note that you haven’t been writing much lately & I haven’t seen you in my newsfeed, so I’m glad you’re back in writing form & hope you continue your fervor! I really love all the different sensations you describe in this poem! (((HUGS))) Fondly Margie