Can I Live in that World

Can I Live in that World

A Poem by SwagMaster
"

Just popped into my head.

"
Can I live in a world, that everyone's a part of.
Can I live in a world, where no one loses who they love.
A world, where no one lives in fear,
A world, which everyone holds dear.
A world, where all parents love their little ones,
A world, where there is no use for guns.
A world, where people can swallow their pride.
A world, where differences are glorified.
A world, where no one's heart is broken,
A world, where what needs to be is spoken.
A world, where people go hand in hand.
A world, where there is one nation, or one land.
A world without anger, sorrow, or fears,
A world with happiness, a world full of cheers.

© 2012 SwagMaster


Author's Note

SwagMaster
Please tell me what you think!!:)

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Featured Review

That would be a beautiful word. I really enjoyed the rhyme and how I didn't actually notice it was rhyming till the end; which is a great thing because it means it enhanced the flow of it and none seemed forced. I loved the last line, it was quite beautiful.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

That would be a beautiful word. I really enjoyed the rhyme and how I didn't actually notice it was rhyming till the end; which is a great thing because it means it enhanced the flow of it and none seemed forced. I loved the last line, it was quite beautiful.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

To me this feels like a political message but in poetry form, you've kept this narrow and strait forward... Good job

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very beautifully written. I like this piece a lot; it definitely makes me long for this world. Your words are so simple, but the meaning is very profound. I think that's a great quality to have as a poet.

Amazing job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That world's perfect, and it sounds so out of reach. :)) But there's no harm in trying so let's do what we can. Anyway, just an opinion, I think the words "can I live in a world" are a mouthful to be repeated over and over again. I think just the words ""a world" are enough... Like:
"can I live in a world that everyone's a part of?
A world where no one loses who they love
A world where no one lives in fear,"
And yeah, you got the idea. :)) but that's just my suggestion. Feel free to ignore it. :)) Well, great job on this one. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifuly written! I like this! :D Peace, all of the world calm!! AMAZING!!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

tha'd be a wonderful place to live... peace and love with everyone. "We need to join together, and then create this world.", let's do it! :)



Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I want to live in this world. What a beautiful place it would be! Thanks for writing this stunning poem.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"what needs to be is spoken" was my favorite line. this poem really makes you think!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very beautifull! It makes you think, which I love, and it flows so smoothly and gently!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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9 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 23, 2011
Last Updated on March 21, 2012

Author

SwagMaster
SwagMaster

Roosevelt, UT



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