24

Friday, July 21st is my 25th birthday.

 

And every year I write a reflection on the past year.

This wasn't an ordinary year for me.

This was a year of extreme growth.

And I am so proud of what I have pulled myself through.

I am even still amazed at the strength I have.

I learned that sometimes only you are going to understand your pain.

And only you are going to be able to pick yourself up.

Even if you turn for help, you might not hear what you wanted to hear.

The words you need the most might never be said.

Not  from your mom.

Not from your dad.

Not even your friends might understand anything that is hurting you.

I learned that  before you can truly appreciate love you have to face a toxic person.

Last year on my birthday, I was drowning because of a toxic person.

I remember that morning, there was an enormous hail and rain storm.

I stood in it wishing it could wash my pain away.  

And looking back it was a great foreshadow of my age.

This year it was a lot of sink or swim.

Fight or flight.

I learned to swim after sinking for too long..

and after I swam I finally figured out how to fly away to safety.

I learned that yes, your friends and peers are going to get married.

Society and people are going make you feel like s**t for being on a different path.

For being single.

And you are going to feel like something is dreadfully wrong with you...

But there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed.

There is nothing wrong with you.

You can be a bawse! (Shout out to Lilly Singh!)

Life isn't about surviving.

It about grabbing it and conquering it.

There are going to be people who don't like you, and that's okay.

I learned that I'm actually pretty.

Loving yourself is healthy.

Don't ever let anyone put you  down for loving yourself, your image.

I figured out that underestimating myself only hurts me.

But the reason why I was so negative was because I was so hurt from a specific person.

I grew out of that darkness, thank goodness!

And now I intend to shine so damn bright, Daenerys will want to adopt me.

I learned that I am actually smarter than some adults.

And its important to stand up for yourself.

For your dignity.

Even if people hate you for your boldness.

For your fight.

I learned that I can love literally anyone.

Even if they're millions of miles away.

24 was a powerful year.

and I'm ready to be a quarter.

Who knows what's going to happen next.

I've a feeling the best is yet to come.

And I am finally clean.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rose]

Happy Birthday and thanks to your words I will be able to try and live through my hurt

[Ardra]

its a nice way to start ... could relate to many of it..
Wishing you a very happy birthday .. hope your wishes come true and you shine brighter each day sharing your warmth with the world :)

we all do get into our own updated versions every year :)

god bless you!

[heavenscentgirl1]

I'm new to the Cafe and while perusing through the pages this posting called me in ~ and now I see why.

I'll begin by sharing ~ my birthday is on the 22nd, but there are many, many years difference in our ages.

Kathryn, its nice that you take the time each year to reflect on the past year ~ for I'm sure it helps in developing & meeting your future goals.

This detailed review of the past year of a 24 year old's life has really made me stop and think about my own life. Though I am thankful for each God given day I've been given I now wonder "when did I lose the zest for life & the excitement that just pours out from your writing"?

So, I want to Thank You for allowing me to see & believe that I still have much to offer in this life. I've decided in celebration of the 70th year of my life I will become a new women ~ looking at things differently (appreciating the little things in life), seeking out ways that I can still help others and just live life to the fullest!

Kathryn, after reading your words here I can see that you are a very open, caring and confident young woman who will meet (and most likely) exceed all her goals in life ~ so, don't ever change except in ways that will only enhance the person that you are.

So, please have a very Happy 25th Birthday on the 21st ~ and keep that great attitude throughout life.

Blessings, 🙏
~ hsg

[Kathryn Smith]

Oh my goodness. This warmed my very heart. Thank you SO much!! It honors me that this touched you the way it did. I hope you have a Happy Birthday too! Thank you so much! Blessings and hugs right back. xx

[heavenscentgirl1]

You are very welcome BUT it is I who should be "Thanking You" Kathryn! 🌹

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Dear Kathryn I wish you the most wonderful 25th Birthday in advance! Your personal retrospective of your 24th year here is courageous and inspiring, ad you yourself are. Your words are honest, humble, insightful, eloquent and hopeful as you turn a new "clean" page. Am honored to read and be witness to it. You are beautiful and you have conquered much. Brava little one, I stand and applaud you!:)

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for sharing. Memoir is a legitimate genre and of all the forms, the most intimate.

[Richard🖌]

As a writer (well, not a real writer, I'm only a poet, after-all), what strikes me most about your writing is how amazingly real you always are, always have been in everything you've shared with us here, and truthfully, I don't believe the way you write can be taught … it is innate to your very nature, but what is most impressive is how your skills, and in how you do it, improve; seemingly, with every write.
Considering how brilliant you already are, and therefore, will be in another twenty-five years, it boggles the mind.
You needn't measure-up to anyone's ideal … you're perfectly wonderful just the way you are, and I am so very-very proud of you in how you've weathered, learned, and grown from every trial, tribulation, and obstacle set before you … you're a very special lady and individual, and I am truly grateful we are friends.
Just think, I'll be able to say I once shared stories and poems together on a writer's site with Kathryn Smith! 😊

I wish you the happiest "Happy Birthday" ever, Dear Kathryn, and you know I mean it! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're right when you say life isn't about surviving; it's about conquering...
So many reflections here which actually fit on me as well.
I think every year brings out a new person in us. We never remain the same, it's like there's this constant changing cycle going through us...
Nice, reflective write, Kat :)

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you my dear! And yes, I think you're right. We never remain the same. a good thing that we change..for the most part. lol :) Thanks for stopping by!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Haha yeah I'd hate to be the person I was 2 years back lol
You're welcome! Hugs 💜💜

[Tony Jordan]

I know a lot of what you hint here. I think to come through the sh*t-storm of your annus horribilus and to still be smiling shows tremendous inner strength Kat.
One thing I would say is the line "I intend to shine so bright xxxx will wanna adopt me" is typical you but it's you putting yourself under pressure before your 25th year has even began !! Just relax and be content with being you and that will make you shine - maybe not brighter than the next person or maybe brighter than them but it will be your natural state.
Good write here. A really private peek into you. More of your open and brave personality shining!!
God Bless and best wishes for Friday and Happy Birthday.
x

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you Tony! And you're right. :) I've learned a lot from you actually in the past year..and I thank you for that. Youre one of my best friends on here! Thanks for stopping by! xx

[aj milton]

Every year we learn more about ourselves and life. Be true to yourself and the future will be bright.

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you Mr Milton!! :)