How are you?

How are you, M? 

Are you still feeling like a failure? 

Are you still in a crisis? 

Are you still hobbling around from your gun wound? 

How are you really? 

I've been thinking about you. 

And I know I've been silent...

I plan on staying silent because I do not want any more knives in my back from you. 

I remember when you said your plan was to just "f**k around." 

Ever think that maybe that'll make you feel worse? 

If you want to be a good Catholic boy (and yes, I used the word boy because you're far from a man) I advise you to put yourself in the shoes of the woman you are f*****g over. 

I remember you said you're too selfish to love. 

I dare you to put your ego away and try and see just what you are doing to us women. 

You're plain and simply hurting us. 

You are wasting our time. 

You are building us up then knocking us down. 

And you're teaching us painful lessons. 

You are a lost soul, M. 

But you're on your way to finding it. 

I wish you well. 

And I miss you. 

I miss you more than I should. 

The scars on my back from your wounds will remain. 

But wounds heal; scars fade..and strength stays. 

I remember I slapped you across the face once; (only because you told me to.)

And to this day I am glad I did. 

You deserved it. 

I hope that girl I saw you with is helping you. 

Maybe you'll marry her. 

Or maybe you will hurt her as you did me. 

Either way; 

I hope you're feeling better. 

From the girl with the heart much too big for this world.