2019

2019

A Story by Kathryn Smith

He told me he was done with my church. 

That he wouldn't be going anymore. 

I asked if I could join him at his usual church...and he declined. 

So I returned to my own church; only to spot him there. 


At first when I spotted him I was overjoyed he was there. 

But as we met eyes he looked nervous. 

Very uneasy. 

He tried to hide in front of the little old lady in front of him. 


Then I saw her. 

And my heart began to burn.

And slowly I felt it break. 

My stomach felt sick. 

My throat felt enclosed. 

This was the worst feeling I had felt in a while. 


I sat there not daring to look up. 

Fighting tears. 

Time was in slow motion. 

Everything was. 

Thoughts raced through my mind like; God are you mad at me? Is this Karma? Is this revenge for all the times I've lied? Is this for my own good? What is happening? 


Then I grew madder and thought; God you'd BETTER have a plan out of this. You'd better have something good come from this; because if you don't, I'm done. 

I left right after communion. 

I couldn't breathe in there. 

I couldn't breathe in the place where I grew up. 

The place that was my safe haven. 

The one place where I thought I would never get hurt. 

I sat in my car thinking...where am I gonna go now? 


Reluctantly I walked into St Bron's a few weeks later. 

Only to find a very handsome energetic Priest and a whole crowd of warm welcoming people. 

It was the Feast of St Blaise and for the first time in weeks; I laughed as he blessed my throat. 

He laughed as well..and when I looked up into his eyes, his gaze followed mine. 

In the next month my heart felt hugged. 

My whole world slowly began to change. 

I grew happier. 

Lighter. 

I fell for someone who I couldnt have, but at least I was not lonely. 

Eventually this Priest whom I loved so dearly announced he was leaving. 

So I went to speak with him. 

Hours felt like seconds. 

He wanted me to teach, so I took on the challenge. 

My world kept changing....

and soon I had a whole classroom of 13 2nd graders looking up to me. 

And I also ended up becoming a speaker for the youth. 

Just me, a mic, in the huge church, and an audience. 

Something took me over as I spoke. As if this was my purpose. What I was born to do. It ended up being highly successful. 

And I feel brand new. 






Now the year is ending, and I will keep going on this spiritual journey. 

My broken heart lead me to a new place. 

A place where my soul would dance like a fire. 


The Feast of St Blaise began such a blaze, and I hope it never ends. 


2020 I'm ready. 

Thank you, God. 

For finding me. 

For saving me. 

For healing me and hugging me. 

The love in my heart is a love I have never felt. 

And it is beautiful. 

© 2020 Kathryn Smith


Author's Note

Kathryn Smith

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Added on December 27, 2019
Last Updated on January 1, 2020