A Chapter by Kathryn Smith

I was due to be born in mid September, but was taken on purpose on Tuesday, July 21st at 5:12 PM of 1992. 
I was not growing. 
Not thriving. 
Struggling for life. 
I had a better chance of survival so I was whisked off to the NICU weighing 1 pound, 6 ounces. 
I shrunk down to 1 pound, 3 ounces. 
The doctors said I would never walk or talk. 
They said I'd most likely die by the time I was 3. 
But here I am. 
Nearly 28 and just fine. 

Getting the gift of my life is a triumph I will treasure forever. 
Recently one afternoon, my mom and I were talking about various items we clung onto as children. I learned my older brother had a pacifier until he was 4. 
I asked why and she responded: 
"Because of YOU traumatizing his life." 
That cut deep. 
I've heard it all before too. 
"Because of YOU." 
My brother and sister were 3 and 6 when I was born. 
Since my mom was in the hospital for such a long time with me; trying desperately to get me to grow, for most of my life I have been told that "I took their mom away from them." 

I cannot describe to you the pain I feel whenever I hear anything like that. 
It was not my fault I was not growing. 
It was not my fault. 

Have you ever been told you personally were trauma? 
It is the most difficult pill I have had to swallow. 
But at least I lived. 
and at least I can say I am trying to live my life to the fullest. 
In November I stood in a church full of teenagers and I told them my birth story. 
I made them belly laugh. 
I made them cry. 
I moved them. 
I inspired them and hopefully deepened their faith a little. 
Always turn your pain into art. 
Always tell your story; because someone out there may need to hear it. 
And if you are ever told that you are trauma, or if you ever feel like something is your fault...
You're worth more than gold. 
Run with what's been given to you, and you will flourish. 
You'll shine. 

© 2020 Kathryn Smith

My Review

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There's no one I know, Kathryn 🔆

Who shines brighter or more purely than You.
A most beautifully rendered, sadly poignant, skillfully laid, and meaningful story of sheer inspiration I've never been more privileged to have read.

My heart, mind, and soul to Thee, Dear Authoress! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Posted 2 Years Ago

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Added on May 27, 2020
Last Updated on May 27, 2020

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