Lurein Ley

Lurein Ley

He did not return,

despite her beauty,

for he had betrayal

on his mind.

So she sat atop

one hundred metres high

combing her fine locks

of gold and moonbeams,

and waited.

She stared out to sea

and saw all the dreams

that love had created

in woven threads,

tricks of emotion.

The cold gripped her soul,

an empty hunger,

a confusion of tears and rages,

as she stared in hollow glances

at the cold waters

of the Rhine that waited

to consume her heart.

So she took a step

and dived head first

into deaths salvation,

her purgatory etched

into the pain

of her dying eyes.

Now she lingers

in revenge to seek,

the souls of sailors

that she may wreck

upon the rocks of time;

with her beauty and

a whispered melody

from her

murmuring rock.

 

25/08/12

Reviews

[Frieda P]

I had to google Luerin Ley after I read this to understand that you were not writing about a person. Learn something new from you every day John. It's a brilliant write, it could really be about so many things. I love how you ended it with the true meaning 'murmuring rock'.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Dear Frieda I am a collector, a collator who draws together pieces. You are very kind my lady as you are a very talented writer.

[Frieda P]

Well, you excel at collating John, your poetry always impressive, you've won my heart and admiration.

[amarlaksh]

another great piece from you. Its becoming a habit! :P

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks Amar, I wish.

[X]

So badass and cool. Inspired by Sirens from Greek mythology, methinks?

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Almost X this is from German mythology/legend. The Siren of the Rhine.

[X]

Ah nice, did not know that is was an actual myth. Cool.

[LA Lorena]

I liked this John. A most tragic story of betrayal and revenge. Very well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thanks LL a true legend lol

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this adapation of the Lorelei legend with the clever pun as title.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No pun intended it is the Irish version. Many
thanks Leslie

[DIVYA]

A fitting payback for premeditated betrayal. I totally identify with her. Your narration of the tragedy is gripping and and I loved it!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yes but she took it out on other innocent sailors lol Thank you as always Divya!

[DIVYA]

Sometimes the wheat gets thrashed with the chaff :) And I suspect she had enough grief in her that could not be doled out on just one traitor! ...in humor... :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

ha! spoken like a siren in waiting lol

[quinfinn]

this is breathtakingly gorgeous, while tragic, and eventually somewhat frightening. a poem within a story within a poem....wonderfully penned and and lovingly thought out.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are very generous Quin. Many thank yous!

[Lehlohonolo Lichaba]

one of my fav among your work

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Low-Lee

[Anonymous Girl]

Loved the flow. You've turneda myth into a storytelling through a poem. I like that.
Amazing! :)
100/100

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wow another really nice review from you! Many thanks.

[Anonymous Girl]

You are most welcome :)

[Pól]

I absolutely love the way this flows. I, m not familiar with the sirens myth, but this seems like a good reason to become one. Great storying-telling in a lyrical ballad. Magical

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Paulo

[Pól]

np