One

One

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

just what it is

"

Divroced
joint custody
every other Christmas
home
what used to be home.....

Thirty-six
death is waiting
impatiently
Ding-Dong
Cancer calling

Her childrren
who
will be their
mother?

Tears fall
they don't help
if only...

She hugs her pillow
waiting for angel's wings
she will look after them
from Heaven

She wishes there was
one do-over
just one ...

© 2008 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
saw a movie thought of this

My Review

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Featured Review

Chloe this is heartbreaking...
you've captured that emotion very well!

It took me back to when my kids
were little and gave me a feeling
of momentary panic... as if I were in
the moment .... WOW!

This is a horribly sad reality for many..

I'm very touched by this piece.

Exceptionally done!

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Sad but emotions I am sure that any Mother facing this awful word Cancer could perhaps not express as eloquently as you have spoken for her. Beautiful

Posted 13 Years Ago


What a heart wrenching moive that must have been as you took the theme out of it and pierced this reader's mind with the regrets and choices in this life. Inspiring to not waste the miracle that this life is! Thanks for the eye opener!~

Posted 13 Years Ago


You have captured the emotion all too well. A sadly wonderful piece. Made me think how my mother must have thought when cancer took her a few months back.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Cancer has touched my life a little too close..perhaps MANY of us. The sentiments here I can get....but the emotion it creates I resist, because I resist letting go of anyone close. These are part of the concerns though.....nicely put. And stop that...about you are a bad writer. This is a craft people can learn. Creating the emotion however, creating haunting images? We cannot... ;-)

Posted 13 Years Ago


perfect. brief but effective. i'll still be thinking of this later...

Posted 13 Years Ago


really touching work my friend... I don't know how i would feel if I knew I was dying but I can see how it would change your whole perspective on ho you live and question what you have done. Beautiful work as always.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is wonderfully written my friend..

Love the imagery

Posted 13 Years Ago


Even though you didn't out right say it, this poem speaks "Tragedy" and hoplessness. I can't even begin to fathom the utter loneliness this individual feels.

You have captured a painful moment, with such ease.

I have to assume the first word was mispelled on purpose for effect.

Very nice!
Infinity's Shadow

Posted 13 Years Ago


Impressive in its simplicity. I like how you tell a long story in a few short lines. You capture the essence of an entire life struggle. Very well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


it really made me think how innumerable the possibilities are of something really tragic happening to my children if i croaked (if i had children). it was a scary thought, but i don't think i can fully appreciate it without actually having children of my own. i just don't know what its like to be a parent and have the little thing depending on me at all times, tugging at my life, puking on my shoes, pissing in the mattress. don't get me wrong: kids are great. they make me feel young and fun and stupid. but i'm not sure i'm the best candidate for that kind of responsibility. at least i admit it. more parents should have done do.
still, this was truly sad. almost too sad.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on June 29, 2008
Last Updated on June 29, 2008

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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