One

One

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

just what it is

"

Divroced
joint custody
every other Christmas
home
what used to be home.....

Thirty-six
death is waiting
impatiently
Ding-Dong
Cancer calling

Her childrren
who
will be their
mother?

Tears fall
they don't help
if only...

She hugs her pillow
waiting for angel's wings
she will look after them
from Heaven

She wishes there was
one do-over
just one ...

© 2008 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
saw a movie thought of this

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Featured Review

Chloe this is heartbreaking...
you've captured that emotion very well!

It took me back to when my kids
were little and gave me a feeling
of momentary panic... as if I were in
the moment .... WOW!

This is a horribly sad reality for many..

I'm very touched by this piece.

Exceptionally done!

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very tear-jerking Chloe. A mother who cannot be there for her kids as much as she wants to be. The part about cancer calling, just blew me away. My mother's mother had cancer and my father also has it. It reminded me of when I first heard in third grade that my father had cancer. It really made my mother depressed and heart broken. This brings back memories both good and bad, and shows how I've grown ever since knowing of the stranger that stole my Dad's health and happiness. Great work.

Divorce is an ugly thing. It's venom dripping from your lips, or it can be tears. Having children along with being divorced...that is just too much for people to handle sometimes, and they get sick emotionally which leads to health problems physically. Having joint custody...seeing the father of the children everytime it's the moment to hand over her babies....it's a painful experiance I wouldn't wish on anyone.

What got me the most in this poem, was the fact that the mother will be her childrens' guardian angel....even in death. It shows the pure love of the mother...and that a mother's work is never done. ^_^ Fantastic poem through and through.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Every mothers worst fear is to leave their children unprotected Chloe, you capture it here in the claws of cancer so well. I don't believe in dwelling on such things but I do know also that these situations do happen and you have written it well. One thing I would say, is never give in or give up, easy to say, hard to do, but we can beat the wings of angels pretty hard when we need to! All the best to you and yours, Tai

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

it broke my heart
thinking
if my marriage didn't work out
then i could be this mother
but before that
i thought of my mother
if she ever felt this way
loosing custody
getting depressed
wondering if I'll ever come home

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How many people see themselves - or a friend or loved one - in these lines?
Powerful writing - it touches the heart and leaves a mark. Well done.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chloe this is heartbreaking...
you've captured that emotion very well!

It took me back to when my kids
were little and gave me a feeling
of momentary panic... as if I were in
the moment .... WOW!

This is a horribly sad reality for many..

I'm very touched by this piece.

Exceptionally done!

Posted 15 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

thats good. well done. but its really sad. Makes you think about all the kids out therre that lose their parents to car accidents and diseases and stuff.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Life can be cruel and you've captured that cruelty well. Minor typo in, "She hugs ger pillow". I suspect that it's supposed to be, "She hugs her pillow". That was the only boo boo that I saw. You displayed the "matter of fact" cruelty most vividly in ...

Thirty-six
death is waiting
impatiently
Ding-Dong
Cancer calling

This stanza was cooly chilling in it's indifference to the fear and suffering that she is feeling.

Excellent!


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 29, 2008
Last Updated on June 29, 2008

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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