Pull The Shades Please

Pull The Shades Please

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

Sister, Mommy, Daddy and me

"

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Sister is in her room cutting
herself not bad though no
just enough to feel the hurt

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Daddy is in the closet
wearing mommy's garter-belt
stroking himself and saying.
" What a pretty girl am I "

Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

Mommy is in the bath
vomiting her dinner
she thinks daddy will
love her more


Pull the shades so we can
hide from the world
our dirty little secrets-

I am spying on them all
plotting  revenge
death by - disclosure

Pull the shades please
so I can hide from the world
my dirty little secrets-

© 2010 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
no personal meaning just popped into my head as i sat here
and i need an ending used the suggestion by sera.... closure or disclosure i chose dis.. not dat haha

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...
... it's a vivid, telling, and compelling social comment ... absolutely brilliant ... "death by closure"? ... "death by disclosure"? ... also just popped in my head when i read that line ... "death by -" ... very powerful verse ... exceptionally skillful ... so much has been said with such few and simple words ... great verse ...

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is so true of many families in today's society. Usually it is those families that put on such awesome performance of being perfect lol. I liked this and glad you posted it. Thanks for sharing this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think every family had dark secrets cause we all have some darkness within us... some more then others... I must say this was raw and direct, that makes for a powerful poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nothing wrong with a lil' datclosure!

I liked this. A bunch of dysfunctionals behind the shades. No one outside their walls knows what they are up to, I'm sure. More folks like this than we will ever know. Well written, Chloe!

~True

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am changing the death by- as some think it is morbid or disturbing.. not a real family none i know of at least .. so i was saying it needed an ending.. thanks

Posted 13 Years Ago


I suppose that we all have our secrets, things we would rather not tell the world, but the ending of your poem (as it is now) gets very dark with "revenge" and "death" and went beyond secrets to something terrifying. Why revenge? It sounds like this family needs love and more openness, maybe to stop keeping their secrets from each other. I am still feeling shocked about the ending, must it end with death and revenge? It is a powerful poem even though I am disturbed by it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A little queer but was enjoyable . Jeering at the world in a blatant manner!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chloe i loved it,a morning becomes Electra kind of family.lol

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting! Really like this!

An ending, well:

Secrets that have no answer or end
That pray until the day meets deaths hand
All are gathered in light diffused
Remorse, is it for me to understand?
For revenge is done now


Something like that lmao Cool piece hon, my suggestion is only that, a suggestion lol Great poem! xx

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chloe - whoa. This is definitly different from your other writes. I like it but its a little - lets just say its a little. yo daddy and yo mama hmmmm.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow. that gives you a mental image..lol. its good. i like it.... xD

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 14, 2010
Last Updated on May 14, 2010

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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