Sway

Sway

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

shall we dance

"

Dance with me
please
hold me close
sway with me
bone to bone
arms around
waist
arms around
neck
sway

Let the music take us
to another
realm
just you
me
swaying

Not too close
when we are alone
then
we will fall into
each others skin

For now
just need you
holding me
dance me
and sway
with me

Stay

© 2008 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
restoration .. my mind is numb so no poems or stories come .. they are sleeping

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Featured Review

I can almost hear and feel the rhythm of the music in this one. I really love the inner thoughts of the speaker. The flirty way she's like come here, but not too close. Later. That's the way to control a man. Besides they love it when we take command like that. lol

Good read. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


32 of 32 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Don't let my wife read this or pay the piper. This is great and it is the right lenght. More lyric than poem. Put to music it would be great.

Posted 16 Years Ago


32 of 34 people found this review constructive.

When you read this it sings. I could visualize it well.

It has an erotic flavor to it too:
we will fall into
each others skin

Relaxing read! Nice.

Posted 16 Years Ago


31 of 34 people found this review constructive.

Nice, I think we all need to dance more, just like that quiet and slow just sway like you say.
To tragic haunting piano pieces that would normaly make you cry.
Yes nice, under the moon light or in the living room by candle light, but just dance for the sake of some duel meditation trance type experience.
Nice work.

Posted 16 Years Ago


32 of 34 people found this review constructive.

Love the passion and emotion here. I think so many of us forget that the simple act of dancing can mean so much to the mind and heart of lover or dear friend. Also love how the depth of the love between the couple deepens as the poem continues.

Posted 16 Years Ago


32 of 32 people found this review constructive.

I like this... wish it were longer! It put me in a sort of dreamy state and I wished it could continue! I could easily feel the dance and desire in this... I could picture it easily as well. You have such a beautiful way with words, Chloe... I absolutely love reading your work!

N xo

Posted 16 Years Ago


34 of 35 people found this review constructive.

Let the music take us
to another
realm

and thas exactly what it will do
the power of suggestion man


i like your little poem
haha

little

like pancakes
and apples


i think then should be on the line before it or some type of punctuation after Not too close
cause i dont know clarity
my interpretation went two different ways
maybe the original was correct

lata



Posted 16 Years Ago


30 of 33 people found this review constructive.

very sexy.loved it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


26 of 34 people found this review constructive.

I like the sentiment of this poem. We all feel it from time to time or more often.

Not too close
when we are alone
then
we will fall into
each others skin
for now
just need you
holding me
dance me
and sway
with me
stay

I think, though, the sense is a little out. You have holding but only dance/sway. I'd say it needs to be either holding, dancing, swaying or "to hold, dance and sway with me."

I enjoyed the sweet sentiment of it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


36 of 37 people found this review constructive.


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2325 Views
118 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 14, 2008
Last Updated on April 14, 2008

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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