Love Smoke

I draw you in
Five rings of smoke appear like magic 
Your face on every one 
Christ how romantic am I
Maybe drink a JD  in your honour
It's amazing how little things bring you to me
The phone comes alive halfway through your honour 
Your soft sexy voice sends a tingle down my spine 
You say it's over 
Well, that was out of the blue 
I draw you in 
The sign on the packet
Smoking can damage your health and eventually kill you 
So profound 
I check the bottle of JD
No warning on that
You disappear into the clouds
Every one a silver lining.

Reviews

[Tom]

' better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all ' Tennyson me thinks ?

Love the pathos in this short but emotive write, kudos Paul !

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Tom.

[MOON]

Striking imagery and the last line sublime.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Moon.

[An owl on the moon]

This feels like a surreal painting coming alive in the magic of this moving smoke. It seemed to shift effortlessly through the real and imagined places of the mind.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks C fromen.

[andrew mitchell]

Lovely work Paul, brilliant imagery but the last line may have a typo but that could be me, everyone has a silver lining instead of everyone a silver lining. all the same Class act!

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, i didn't want it to sound like, every cloud has a silver lining. Just me trying to be different. lol

[Johari]

It should actually be "every one" rather than "everyone" any way. How about "every one, silver lined."?

[Paul Bell]

Well spotted Johari. Changed it. Thanks, still keeping lining though.

[andrew mitchell]

good on you johari, i must do this mistake often about everytime or every time!!

[Paul Bell]

She's a seer.

[andrew mitchell]

666 reviews is there something the devil must know! crikeys! i have to write 200 writes to accumulate that many reviews, maybe i need to apply deodorant to my writes lol.

[Paul Bell]

You definitely need that super juicer now. lol

[andrew mitchell]

its now 671 and rising it's like a fever paul. i will take the juicer now to see what my writes taste like!!

[Paul Bell]

A blond lady will deliver it.

[andrew mitchell]

now 2382 reviews holy smoke!!! WTF! Incredible Paul! LMAO!

[Gee]

Whatttttttt, we haven’t got that many between us for all of the shite we’ve posted. Do you think he does tutorials ???

[andrew mitchell]

Just kill me now! How do we close our profiles or I may just change my name!!:(

[andrew mitchell]

now 2410 and rising, its like a fever!!

[Gee]

How about nicking his poems and sneaking onto another site. We can pretend we’re related to him I’ll be Hells and you can be Tinka

[andrew mitchell]

Now I know where all my review comments are going!!!!! of late barely a trickle and yours too Gee, we need Humpty Dumpty write part 3 to get out of this one!

[andrew mitchell]

Talk about when 8 bells toll!!

[Gee]

I’ll dig out “ A mother’s passing” somebody looked at that !!!

[Ruth]

The heart has a knack of not letting go and such things always bring nostalgia expected or unexpected, I like this...nicely done...

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Poppy. That's a great name.

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the metaphor ... the smoke rings quite magical in the beginning :} the rough ride of love is painted well ..it has jagged edges no doubt about it ..i wish that Christ's name had not been used as exclamation; but that's just me .. no warning on the JD eh!? ;) its a sure cure for the night if one is persistent ... i like a hot tottie of Jamison meself; but more recently tried the Devil's Cut ..it is pretty darn good sir! ;) the scene is instant and emotive ..especially enjoy the happy ending of silver ..nice one says i ..its rough and manly in love and healing :))
E.

[Paul Bell]

Take your point on Christ on board. But i suppose he's praising the lord in his own strange way. Which can't be a bad thing.

[Einstein Noodle]

in praising we lift up ..and that's a cup of tea i relish .. i did consider that may somehow be the case when i read your poem (a couple times;) ..you must admit its kind of a stretch eh!?? your protagonist is in a whole lot of misery ...expectations crashed, he's headed for the easy fix in drinking to forget (as the Good Book says:) ) ... praising our way back to health for most comes later me thinks .. gotta say again ..love those smoke rings and clouds .. great stuff for me!

[ReedWrite]

Wow, I enjoyed this very much. One can read so much into it, and yet every word evokes imagery that paints a picture. I think my favorite lines were: 'Smoking can damage your health and eventually kill you...so profound...I check the bottle of JD...No warning on that. How many times have we all been there, or someplace very similar. I could almost picture myself there with you, leaning back in the chair, a glass of JD in one hand and a cigarette in the other, watching the smoke rising. Great poem. Thank you for the post.

[Paul Bell]

I'm seeing you heading to the supermarket now.

[Ted Kniffen]

Smoke! So seductive and overpowering. So damn good with a coffee or glass of wine. So much like the addiction of love, then someone goes 'cold turkey'. Good write.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Ted

[Bala Gorthi]

A very smartly crafted write, Paul !
I loved the verse "everyone a silver lining".
The similarities you have brought are interesting and they do exist in the love you are speaking about. Love can become sometimes addictive.
Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Bala