The Village of Trill

Jack and Jill went up the hill

This was never in dispute

It was how Jack fell down

With severe lacerations to his crown

That the jury had to conclude

Jill had a bun in the oven

The news was all over town

The bakers' wife was aghast

Her husband and his shady past

He liked a cream tart

Though, when cautioned down the red light district

Cream was never mentioned in the Constables statement

Back to that ill-fated day on the hill

Jill says Jack was going down, on her

He was certainly on the edge

A couple walking their dog, state the baker was on the ledge

This was later dismissed when the couple admitted they didn’t have a dog

This was light relief for the jury in this sorry affair

Mrs Black didn’t turn up to church on Sunday

The stand in vicar didn’t know this, being new

All hell broke loose as the witness swore

Jill gave birth on the floor

A black child appeared

There was uproar

The baker shouted to his wife, with a frown

Three women stood up

So he sat down

They all turned to the bench

The Judge was holding his gavel

Somewhat in despair

DNA later found traces of poor Jacks hair

The Judge was taken down, mumbling

She said she was on the pill, Jill

That was the end of this sorry tale

Though the papers ran amok

Mondays headline read

Jack and Jill went up the hill, with the folks of Trill for an orgy and thrill

But things got out of hand

The Judge saw red, and whacked Jack dead

And they all came tumbling after.

Reviews

[Pennywriter]

I particularly like the pace of this poem, such as weaving threads. One can actually feel the plot unfolding, not just see the black letters.

[Paul Bell]

Keeps the kids amused, though don't tell mummy of the new version.

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

This poem made me stop in my tracks and apply my mind to it hard and long.
I think Jack was over the hill. This has something to do with the judge.
The Judge saw red and whacked Jack dead.
Most Department Heads are usually Dickheads!

This is awesome Paul :)

[Paul Bell]

It's authority figures with power they don't know how to use. Probably why i've got 15 bins now.

[.]

The ways things are going nowadays it's just a matter of time before the leftist nutcases change the nursery rhyme to "Jack and Jonathon went up the hill". When that happens, we are all buggered! This is another witty write, dear Paul. Thanx for the chuckle! Much enjoyed!

[Paul Bell]

I think you're right, it won't be long, more reason to whack them both dead then. lol

[AJNJ]

A lot went on this tale and there was buggery on quite a large scale. I wonder if that baby was male or if the orgy on the hil resulted in a sprog half dog half snail.

Loved it! Kudos!

[Paul Bell]

Would have been if I had been invited. lol

[AJNJ]

And then things would really go at snail’s pace. 🤣

[Paul Bell]

Not easy carrying your own house around, though mine's turbo snail pace.

[AJNJ]

Then an orgy is definitely out of question...?

[Paul Bell]

Would make it to the gy, the o.r would take me a day to get there.

[AJNJ]

Ok. Will pack a sandwich for you. :)

[Ana Papaya]

This is not how I recall it.
I like this version better.

[Paul Bell]

Change is good I think.

[Dee Oddbins]

I thought this was a very funny fairytale with a modern twist lol,

[Paul Bell]

It needed updated. lol