The Devils Choice.

The day breaks

Dead bodies linger

The Devil takes his pick

Heaven gets its share

She wakes

Eyes scan the darkness

He’s near

The smile of death beckons

He checks the  bodies

The wounds say it all

Her mark was upon them

All open gaping for him to see

She remembers a time

When he was the dark

When he left his mark

Now he had turned

He was going to find her

Then he was going to kill her

To end the killing

Just to end it all

She could feel him close

Touch what was once untouchable

Fang like she drew first blood

The taste pulsed through her veins

The wound was gaping

His final thoughts

He taught her well

He taught her so well

The Devils praise

Echoed in her presence

Giving her the freedom

To find new kingdoms

Heaven opened its gates

To the fallen warrior

Declaring him a Saint

For all time.

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is a haunting and evocative meditation on the themes of mortality, revenge, and redemption. The imagery is vivid and visceral, and the use of repetition and parallelism creates a sense of rhythm and momentum that propels the story forward. The final lines, with their suggestion of a kind of transcendence or apotheosis, add an element of mystery and wonder that leaves the reader with a sense of awe and reverence.

[barleygirl]

When it comes to telling a spooky story, you are top-notch at pacing & phrasing in a way that builds momentum & suspense & dread. Amazing to read this & see how you carefully lead the reader into the abyss (((HUGS)))

[Shelley Warner]

At the beginning of your poem, I envisioned a battle field with the dead lying all over it. "The devil takes his pick, Heaven gets its share" were real poetic. As I read farther, I saw other kinds of death. Very descriptive.

[Paul Bell]

The devil is never faraway in this poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

When we do the Devil dance. Entice the wild kiss. We shall find bad ending Paul.
"The Devils praise
Echoed in her presence
Giving her the freedom
To find new kingdoms"
When we gain the Devil's praise. Did we win? Outstanding work my friend. You made the reader think and ponder.
Coyote

[Paul Bell]

It's like the world is in the Devil's grip.

[Dave Brown]

Just your average occult slaughter house with all the players involved.
They do have to occupy their time somehow or other.
Well observed

[Paul Bell]

Britain on a Saturday night now that we've been released back into society.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like a Grand Funk song with the children speaking..."if you're good you'll live forever but if you're bad you'll die when you die"
this is almost the reverse of that...
we teach ourselves evil and do it so well.
One day those doors to heaven will be padlocked for good.
j.

[Paul Bell]

You know they love the sinners, it's like the gold standard for getting into heaven.

[Betty Hermelee]

a bit squeamish, a bit mysterious; I like your string words to describe this bloody scene. She takes over the killings, but he still goes to heaven, along with a bunch of others; it's sounds like something from the bible or from ancient times. Well written.
Best, B

[Paul Bell]

Heaven loves the killers and the sinners, not sure about the good people mind you.

[Marina]

Very atmospheric poem, Paul. Certainly has an element of Dracula to it; the addition of the Devil being the master of this princess of darkness just shows that whatever the form of evil, the Devil is always the catalyst behind it. Your final stanza makes for an interesting ending.....the fallen angel that is Lucifer being accepted back into the heavens. Maybe if he was accepted back into the fold and monitored with an ankle collar all the evil in the world would disappear. 💛

[Paul Bell]

Something tells me an ankle bracelet might not be enough.