A Never-Ending Bliss

I entered this tunnel so vast and deep,

An innocent child, my own life to keep.

Wanting to see a life of light,

But blinded by the world's hateful night.

A step forward, I stumbled and fell.

Two steps back, the past I know well.

Crawling, low, close to the ground.

Looking for a path, but no path was found.

Back on my feet, I moved forward once more,

But fell back down, hurt, sad, and sore.

Pain stabbed my heart as I started to rise,

Writhing in pain, tears fell from my eyes.

Lashing out my hand, for something to hold.

Grasping only dirt, loose crumbling, and cold.

Pulling at nothing, moving inch by inch.

Still hurting from my world's fateful pinch.

Out from the stones came directive cries,

But less were truth and more were lies.

Feeling as if I could endure nothing more,

I saw a light, and I knew it was for,

Me to reach, for me to enjoy.

But still I was kept, my tunnel's cursed toy.

I looked toward the light, and saw another ahead.

Standing up, stong, moving, not dead.

I struggled to reach, my companion so dear,

And discovered that he, was actually very near.

He beckoned me towards him, his arms open wide.

As I eagerly moved close to his side.

Picking me up, curing my wounds,

Loving me, telling me, my tunnel's end would be soon.

He picked me up and moved towards the light.

Farther and farther from my tunnel's dark night.

He put me down, and gave me a kiss,

Of eternal life, a never-ending bliss.

 

           - by Pauline Marie Daley

             November 4th, 2007

Reviews

[Bennett Logan]

I enjoyed reading this poem. It has a very allegorical feel, but you were still able to remain relatively introspective. In it, I saw representations of life's struggles which then lead to eternal happiness in the afterlife.

What I'd be interested in seeing, and I think I mentioned this in a previous review, would be for you to reduce the poem to its bare bones by taking out any words or lines that are not absolutely necessary to the piece. The remaining poem would be an extract of your original, but you may find that it leaves you with opportunities to take the piece any number of different directions by refocusing your imagery or simply by moving words around.

Otherwise, what you have here is perfectly fine. The language you use is strong and effective, and your message is clear. Have a good one, and definately keep up the good work.

[Arthur Henn]

Pauline, you my dear lady, you have such a loving soul and it shows through your words. You are an inspiration a tool. You will make a difference in peoples lives. You already have made a difference in mine.

Our words alway are the best as we reach deep within ourselves (Our Souls) as you have.

You are his creation and a never ending bliss. Thank You For Being Here.

Arthur Henn

[These Haunted Hallways]

Aw man, this really made me feel so good hehe. Nope, ive never read this poem before, but i surely can relate to this exquisite work, myself :) The rhyming was flawless, and very witty. Plenty of thought into your words to make it flow genlty and smoothly. This is definitley what i like to read hehe. Very beautifully composed!

B.A.