Well you are really putting that out there, aren't you...before the end that is so near...but will she ever? Not if you keep kissing her in whispers.lol I must admit this wip in the final stage was indeed more powerful because today it brought an unending emotion that makes your pieces great. Thank you for the share in vulnerability.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
When the end comes we all know there is only one true love in my life and that is poetry..however..... read moreWhen the end comes we all know there is only one true love in my life and that is poetry..however...there are those that may come along to play a chord or two of course. My music begins with a silence and my intent is only is in keeping the ears clean to hear that song proper. I"m glad you liked this wip Queen...now off to change it all..lol.
5 Years Ago
you stamped it with "done" already! No taksie backsies! lol
5 Years Ago
Let's hear that music shammy! I love it as much as that poetry of yours!
And there is that noise ya toast bleeding bandit! Gotta run but will post later..when I am quite cer.. read moreAnd there is that noise ya toast bleeding bandit! Gotta run but will post later..when I am quite certain my whole loaf will have mysteriously disappeared. Go figure .🤷🏿♀️
5 Years Ago
well I'll just sit here listening and singing loudly ..crunch crunch...wait, do you hear that? ...th.. read morewell I'll just sit here listening and singing loudly ..crunch crunch...wait, do you hear that? ...there....no there...crunch crunch....:)
5 Years Ago
HOW IS THIS HELPFUL?!!..lol. Crunch your song toast gator..crunch your sung~
The days are a bit brighter when seen through these eyes, the nights a bit warmer, knowing she cares. And even if it's only a dream, what a beautiful dream it is.
I don't think it's only lost to youth, but can be sustained throughout a lifetime, should one be so fortunate.
Love this one...
I will now see what I can do.
Aloha,
Alisa ;-)
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Well it is Hawaii so? Hey..how did you spell that water again ...got asked by a few people with issu.. read moreWell it is Hawaii so? Hey..how did you spell that water again ...got asked by a few people with issues last night. Thanks Alisa!
Very nice! i feel like it reminds me of when I first liked a girl, but was too shy to even approach her.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Wow do I remember those times as well ...think it was a couple weeks back..lol. Shy is a wonderful t.. read moreWow do I remember those times as well ...think it was a couple weeks back..lol. Shy is a wonderful trait..use it with the combination of respect and see what happens JungLee...be that mystery in kind. Thank you for dropping and for reading ~
It happened when I was in North Korea, but she was a higher rank than me. So I thought I'd get in tr.. read moreIt happened when I was in North Korea, but she was a higher rank than me. So I thought I'd get in trouble for interacting with her so I kept silent and just stared at her. I think I might have creeped her out lol
5 Years Ago
She is probably still talking about you and crying her eyes out...you should give her a call. Ya nev.. read moreShe is probably still talking about you and crying her eyes out...you should give her a call. Ya never know until you trip and fall on your way over to talk to her in her perfect never ending fountain of beauty..WOMEN!..lol.
None discovered a word beyond love yet? Cause I wanted to use that for expressing how I feel bout this piece and the image!
This one's like coaxing oneself with sweet and precious memories in depression... real and soulful lines been knitted here.
A thank you for writing this and a wish "have a great day!" :)
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Well there you go people..another opinion in a work in progress and IS it what I as trying to convey.. read moreWell there you go people..another opinion in a work in progress and IS it what I as trying to convey.. maybe...but the review serves a wonderful purpose Tahsin in that I can see how you see it as I am editing. You have shown me how it relays to you and where you are from...That matters big time in my own evolving so Thank you as always..Now as far as a word beyond love...I think just showing up is that word beyond love...only with more adjectives and curse words..lol. Well timed and thank you for the kind words. :)
5 Years Ago
Ah am honoured!😄
In that case, happy editing...you'll bring out the "beutiful-est" :) I kn.. read moreAh am honoured!😄
In that case, happy editing...you'll bring out the "beutiful-est" :) I know!
Think I might use a monkey instead of the fawn so things should pick up here ..In a weird and wonder.. read moreThink I might use a monkey instead of the fawn so things should pick up here ..In a weird and wonderful way :P Thanks!
5 Years Ago
Perhaps! But you're the who needs to be satisfied at first with your poem...I'll always love it😇
Did you just say that I say ..you ruin your poems with editing? I never said ruin did I ? Im sorry...
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
No...did I? I said that I do get, (and you are not the only only one btw) some people upset when I c.. read moreNo...did I? I said that I do get, (and you are not the only only one btw) some people upset when I change the first draft. I sorta like that process cause it teaches me more and more and the more again about the process...this is art and art is primarily subjective. There is an objective side but If the the artist bends to what he feels than he will eventually lose his art. I love that you come, among others to tell me the honesty of your feeling, but as well you know I hold the reigns of my own poetry and I also ask for it as my process is not like most...I do my editing here so that others can see. I need the site to see what I am trying to convey and sometimes it works perfectly while other times I flat out destroy a good poem. But..as I've often said, " If it can be broke than break it". It's just my way and you're kind enough to give me your honest opinion and that has helped me tremendously. Now Put em up ..Put em up :) Man us artists are jumpy.lol. Thanks Crippled Queen.
Okay, I just know that I have a tendency to be a bit loud about it:) ...now where did I put that fog.. read moreOkay, I just know that I have a tendency to be a bit loud about it:) ...now where did I put that fog horn? hmm be right back:)
5 Years Ago
Wherever you wish leg horn ..and don't you ever change a single thing about you or words will be spo.. read moreWherever you wish leg horn ..and don't you ever change a single thing about you or words will be spoken...only in a less audible way Mkay!
I don't see any need for a (wip), here all is laid unselfishly to us with sincerity and Your own way of serenity. in these few special lines You've painted Your own private world, the pain, the wonderment, the ongoing wandering, that very gentle side of You, Your ever keen eyes and mind, the bliss, being hurt yet blessed... I love this... it touches us inside with a rare kind of tenderness, and that PHOTO! well... it speaks more than I could.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
For some reason I need to see the poems in the bright lights and then the rough drafts take on anoth.. read moreFor some reason I need to see the poems in the bright lights and then the rough drafts take on another form in the brain and something within decides whether to change it or not based on what I was actually seeing at that time, so more of a notice/warning but yes I agree for now...not going to touch it and then 4 a.m. rolls around and that something happens so ...maybe..maybe not. But thanks Light. Just the way I write and I have definitely ticked off a lot of people who liked the first drafts ..who knows.., maybe I'll come around..lol.
5 Years Ago
completely understood. in the past I wanted like to write everything in just one poem lol now I let .. read morecompletely understood. in the past I wanted like to write everything in just one poem lol now I let it be and flow as it's, but of course editing still there, at times with great touch, another with a slight one, sometimes I look to my older poems and say WHAT IS THIS!!?? WHO WROTE THIS?! lol not a good feeling at all :)
Happy morning, I was up also at 3 am couldn't sleep until few hours passed, and BTW did I say that I love Your title here?
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5 Years Ago
Good Morning Light...No you didn't say that but much appreciated ..as predicted the 4 am monster arr.. read moreGood Morning Light...No you didn't say that but much appreciated ..as predicted the 4 am monster arrived and went easy this time but not sure it is done quite yet...need that good editor to pound me solid and just get it done..Soon...for now the process is workings and can' complain. Thanks...now hoping at least an hour's sleep...THUD! ;)
5 Years Ago
MUCH better! it's now more smoother and clearer, well done Mr. Ocean! but I just liked the previous .. read moreMUCH better! it's now more smoother and clearer, well done Mr. Ocean! but I just liked the previous ending (Winter's wind) than this, well just my opinion :)
P.S, what about putting that gorgeous photo atop Your poem?
5 Years Ago
lol..Oh trust me I get a lot of opinions about how I ruin the poems with the editing..but if you not.. read morelol..Oh trust me I get a lot of opinions about how I ruin the poems with the editing..but if you notice the wip is still on there so I have to work for a little while longer. The one thing I have begun to learn is that I only edit a little to begin with and then also have to realize that there are 10 other poems waiting behind this one so LIFE OVER! hahaha. And as far as pics above the poems and songs belong I think that is taking away from the actual poem and just adding ...I only recently started adding pics, Let the words stand alone and see where it goes and keep writing until it kills you I say along with Bukowski :) Now comes the THUD...I need the photographer..old style and editor..old style and and and and,,,With friends such as you ..no way I won't get there, But so many supporting poets on here. Now we just have to see what happens out THERE! Much Love Light and that is all I got so I'll be back a little later.
5 Years Ago
I never said "ruined" did I ? ;)
for wanting the words to be there all alone... thoug.. read moreI never said "ruined" did I ? ;)
for wanting the words to be there all alone... though You might not believe it, but I got You! to have that ancient feeling were there was only pen and papers, only "words".
do take care of Your self there, sleep a little bit at least, and when You "completely" finish editing this one ( and You will :) ) tell me so I can read it. much love back at You~