Discord

Discord

A Poem by Tomislav Petricevic

Peace I haven't found

And I have sought

Oh, so endlessly

Into the abyss and through

The depths of hell and above

For heaven was a lie.

Carefully crafted, poison- coated

Its nature holds no solace.

Have I been tainted

For prying too close

Or have I wandered so near

Because of my rot?

The stench lingers within

Our bones, our souls

The definition of corruption

At its evolved form.

If peace is forever lost

Essence hidden between planes of existence

No stitches prevent the shout in agony:

Evil is my home.

© 2013 Tomislav Petricevic


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Featured Review

This verse just speaks out... you have weaved a lot of words with concrete lines... in a relatively short amount of time... I would separate this more to give impact:

Peace I haven't found
And I have sought
Oh, so endlessly
Into the abyss and through
The depths of hell and above
For heaven was a lie.

Carefully crafted, poison- coated
Its nature holds no solace.

Have I been tainted
For prying too close
Or have I wandered so near
Because of my rot?

The stench lingers within
Our bones, our souls
The definition of corruption
At its evolved form.

If peace is forever lost
Essence hidden between planes of existence
No stitches prevent the shout in agony:

Evil is my home.

This is how I pictured this write as I read as a reader... but by no means is this right or wrong... just stating my opinion...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the insight. I must say, I think your vision fits the poem perfectly, as I've never be.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

6 Years Ago

When doing the manuscript... yes... I can see the boredom in poetry... as Vile said to me in my work.. read more



Reviews

This is so wonderfully dark. It's very creative and well-written :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

5 Years Ago

Thank you! :)
This verse just speaks out... you have weaved a lot of words with concrete lines... in a relatively short amount of time... I would separate this more to give impact:

Peace I haven't found
And I have sought
Oh, so endlessly
Into the abyss and through
The depths of hell and above
For heaven was a lie.

Carefully crafted, poison- coated
Its nature holds no solace.

Have I been tainted
For prying too close
Or have I wandered so near
Because of my rot?

The stench lingers within
Our bones, our souls
The definition of corruption
At its evolved form.

If peace is forever lost
Essence hidden between planes of existence
No stitches prevent the shout in agony:

Evil is my home.

This is how I pictured this write as I read as a reader... but by no means is this right or wrong... just stating my opinion...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thank you for the insight. I must say, I think your vision fits the poem perfectly, as I've never be.. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

6 Years Ago

When doing the manuscript... yes... I can see the boredom in poetry... as Vile said to me in my work.. read more
I love the last 4 lines. It is a dark, pricking, beautifully written poem.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thanks! :D

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416 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on June 15, 2013
Last Updated on June 15, 2013
Tags: heaven, lie, poison, suffering, strife, evil, hell, poetry, poem, discord

Author

Tomislav Petricevic
Tomislav Petricevic

Slavonski Brod, Slavonija, Croatia



About
Hello! I used to write all about myself in this section, but now that I think about it - what does it matter? This is a website for writing, and that's what we should focus on. We shouldn't let oth.. more..

Writing