Faraway Lights

Faraway Lights

A Poem by Tomislav Petricevic

If you wish hard enough

you will see them too

they can make you think

of missed possibilities

 

Maybe I can be a god

of another world

because staring at these lights

makes the sky brighter

 

Would you dare to join me

if I took you by the hand

and led you to a place

where they would never flicker

 

We could go at once

leave the life of troubles

spend the rest of days

right beside each other

 

But I can't seem to let go

of far too distant lights

so perhaps you can join in

and dream them closer by

© 2014 Tomislav Petricevic


Author's Note

Tomislav Petricevic
Inspired by my favorite anime, Death Note. :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Beautiful work. I've missed your writing.

I loved the theme of it (e.g. stars, cosmos, heavens), there's just a few things I would like to point out:

Your last line has a dangling preposition. In some cases it is ok to end a sentence with a preposition (i.e. “What did you step on?”). But never when it can be omitted, as in your poem :).

Speaking of sentences - you don't have any punctuation. This is just one big run-on sentence. You might have done it on purpose (being artsy and all that), but it does make it slightly confusing to the reader. :)

None of these are really big deals, all in all this poem was well written; you just might want to consider changing those few things.

I can't wait to read more!
Keep writing. :)
~Patricia

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thank you! :D
To be honest, I didn't have that cosmic theme in mind when I was writing this, I.. read more
Patricia Williams

6 Years Ago

Wow, so I reread it with city lights in mind. I almost like it more. Again, good job!
Ok, lik.. read more



Reviews

Beautiful work. I've missed your writing.

I loved the theme of it (e.g. stars, cosmos, heavens), there's just a few things I would like to point out:

Your last line has a dangling preposition. In some cases it is ok to end a sentence with a preposition (i.e. “What did you step on?”). But never when it can be omitted, as in your poem :).

Speaking of sentences - you don't have any punctuation. This is just one big run-on sentence. You might have done it on purpose (being artsy and all that), but it does make it slightly confusing to the reader. :)

None of these are really big deals, all in all this poem was well written; you just might want to consider changing those few things.

I can't wait to read more!
Keep writing. :)
~Patricia

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thank you! :D
To be honest, I didn't have that cosmic theme in mind when I was writing this, I.. read more
Patricia Williams

6 Years Ago

Wow, so I reread it with city lights in mind. I almost like it more. Again, good job!
Ok, lik.. read more
This poem is so strange, effective had luminous that I had to read it many times. I am quite biased by it's cosmic theme, though I found it appealed to the futurist in me and the star lover. To personalize the cosmos as a theme for a poem is brilliant, and you did this truly very well here Tomi. It's as intimate as the dream of heaven...outstanding!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! :D
Nice. Though I am Lord of Rings fanatic, this is in context to how I feel about my characters I feel. They are tough and magical just as your piece.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

justjenn_2u

6 Years Ago

Love it, I have a level 60 tank and level 60 hunter right now.
Tomislav Petricevic

6 Years Ago

Oh, nice. Well, I haven't play the game because I get bored of MMOs pretty fast, but I love LotR in .. read more
justjenn_2u

6 Years Ago

I'm waiting on Elder Scrolls.

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402 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on January 24, 2014
Last Updated on January 24, 2014
Tags: poetry, poem, faraway, lights, death, note, god, flicker, dream, illusion

Author

Tomislav Petricevic
Tomislav Petricevic

Slavonski Brod, Slavonija, Croatia



About
Hello! I used to write all about myself in this section, but now that I think about it - what does it matter? This is a website for writing, and that's what we should focus on. We shouldn't let oth.. more..

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