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Bleeding in Flames

Bleeding in Flames

A Poem by Tomislav Petricevic
"

I just love haikus.

"

Ardent flames schorching,

The world reduced to ashes,

Bleeding skies clouded.

© 2012 Tomislav Petricevic


Author's Note

Tomislav Petricevic
Bleeding skies are clouded of all the smoke, of course.

My Review

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Featured Review

I like this piece!
Your word choice really embodies the destruction you are trying to convey and the sense of rebirth. "Ardent" suggests that the world is all too happy to be put into destruction, or it doesn't care. Whether it be an outside force or an inside force, it is reduced to ashes for a new start, where the "bleeding skies" are "clouded"... the aftermath, the one thing left after the burning.
Excellent job!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Pretty well written!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem has quite the impact. It creates quite the vision in my mind of a landscape destroyed by human's at war.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Deep. I likey. nice work :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Good comparison, nice apocalyptic imagery. Destruction. Nihilism.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You did an amazing job of putting so much meaning into such few words. Beautiful write! :)
~Rae Emeral

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very nice! I agree with you, haiku's are pretty awesome. :D

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

and the skies bleed in the haiku, your words express a somber, dire
existence to the meaning, and leaves the reader with a powerful
impression of loss, this is good work, you have talent, keep it up ^_^

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was so good, i like the 'bleeding skies' part

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It captures a feeling, perhaps due to the short nature of the haiku. What you have working for here (especially in the first and last line) is starting off with a stressed syllable. (AR-dent, BLEE-ding) It raises the urgency of it. I would, however, recommend using counterpoint -- a haiku has three lines, it would be nice if all three lines were different -- at this point, perhaps, shift the second line into something else (it is a bit cliche as well)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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291 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 7, 2012
Last Updated on April 7, 2012
Tags: haiku, world, flames, devoured, bleeding, sky, clouded

Author

Tomislav Petricevic
Tomislav Petricevic

Slavonski Brod, Slavonija, Croatia



About
Hello! I used to write all about myself in this section, but now that I think about it - what does it matter? This is a website for writing, and that's what we should focus on. We shouldn't let oth.. more..

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