God In A Nutshell

God In A Nutshell

Someone ran across the stage.
His lips foamed, but I listened on,
till he put God into a nutshell
and people jumped the pews
Sometimes I watched God crack loose
from the worried rosaries in anxious hands,
from the snakes that never bit an honest man,
from the wars they said he raged and the pews saved
for the man with the most money.
He loved to sit on the mountain and sing
a soft breeze into the ocean,
light up his lava lamps, turn something upside down,
anything he could think of, to get their attention.
He loved to watch the sun in a topaz glisten,
feel the rain filter in a fine mist,
mouth a sideways, Jesus, Jesus,
these people never listen

Reviews

[Charles]

Well, Phibby, you've done well here. Often, pulling two stanzas (defined by me as sets of ideas or different themes) into one doesn't work well, but the switch from the misrepresentations of God in the first nine lines to the personification (without the artificial trappings) in the last eight lines works quite well, esspecially if one reads slowly enough. Maybe that's why it works - the first several lines just beg for slow reading (maybe even re-reading) which sets up the second set of lines nicely. The leat two lines are perfect. :-)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

" He don't wear no fancy clothes, he'd rather take the bus, and he would pay a tourist's fare so he could sit with us" Jimmy Buffett from God Don't Own a Car....wonderful write here love.

[Terry Collett]

Sometimes I watched God crack loose
from the worried rosaries in anxious hands,
from the snakes that never bit an honest man,
from the wars they said he raged and the pews saved
for the man with the most money.
These lines make this poem for me. Carved in stone almost. You have the craft and art of poetry in your blood and bones.

[LJW]

My new favorite of yours. Wow.

Your use of subtle rhyme is incredibly effective.

The message is clear and unadulterated.

The ending:

He loved to watch the sun in a topaz glisten,
feel the rain filter in a fine mist,
mouth a sideways, Jesus, Jesus,
these people never listen

Prophetic.

I LOVE THIS. 100/100

[Mark]

I'm sure that there is a good deal here that I've missed, but the idea that God got bored with the fatuous favor-currying so prevalent in the buildings set apart for His worship, and returns to His Creation, to see if there are any men of vision there, is a beautiful one. Thanks for the reminder!

[Bud]

Nice. I like this. God is God. That is different to many people. Even scripture says just that. We are all right, yet we are all wrong. In time we will know the truth of God. No mistake about it. You have penned a wonderful piece that provokes many thoughts, and ponders. I think the end captures the essence that is most important... people never listen to what is most important, but sure do believe tales... Outstanding.

[Lola Nation]

I like the idea of compacting it all into a nutshell.

[W.k.kortas]

The notion of putting an infinite God in a nutshell is more poignant than a hundred volumes of theology or a thousand debates on who and what He may be.

[Tracie Skarbo]

Great Job on this one...there are so many faiths saying the same thing, praying to the same god, and yet they fight to call their god "the one". Wars have raged for years over this one fact alone. Talk about not listening to scripture...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I like the whimsical feel of this piece on such a always hot topic... funny how so many believe but if you say you spoke to God then they become skeptical... very nicely done.