Lorelei

Lorelei

A Poem by Phill Oz O'fee
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From German Folklore …

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Lorelei



Precipitous perching

on satin seat

Atop a high

scarred stone face vista

Luminously

silvery albescent clothed

Adorned with wreath

of shining stars

Entwining

wind blown golden locks

Lorelei awaits

her next succumbent


Exquisite

staggering physical beauty

Complimented

a sweet siren’s song

So hauntingly

hypnotic to seafarers

That no sailor

could resit her charms

But reaching

this nymph was deadly

All losing lives

on rough ragged rocks


Copyright @ Phillozofee 2018


© 2018 Phill Oz O'fee


Author's Note

Phill Oz O'fee
Today, a statue of Lorelei watches over the treacherous stretch of water near Sankt Goarshausen.

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a thing of perfection! I love your poem & how it goes with the artwork, and also the well-known myth. Your words are lyrical & haunting. The poem is a little bit like a siren, blaring out dramatic descriptions of her beauty, then the final capture is only briefly touched on. Love it all! (((HUGS))) Fondly Margie

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

Thank you so much Margie - I tried to keep as close as possible to the legend (poetically that is) -.. read more



Reviews

This is very nicely done
How many innocents have paid the price for her ruined romance

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It doesn't feel like you need any of those unimportant words like “a” and “the” to make your poem make sense and be impactful. Each word is important. Like in

“scarred stone face vista
Luminously
silvery albescent clothed
Adorned with wreath
of shining stars
Entwining
wind blown golden locks”

It's simply packed full of just the important words yet nothing gets lost in translation. And it's like super effective and totally draws your reader in. I'm totally in love with these lines. I'm not so good at doing this which is why it has caught my eye. You got perfect word choice and know how to get around without those extra words. I'm jealous. I'll need to practice more. Thanks for this awesome example of getting rid of those filler words!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

Oh my goodness - I'm humbled by your review! Sending you a thousand smiles in appreciation - :-)
H L Rose

2 Years Ago

😆 😆 😆
Very eloquent and smooth! I love alliteration and you utilized it beautifully. Nicely done.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind review … :-)
Such a haunting tale, both alluring and alarming, Phil. Your vocabulary jumps such high hurdles too.. my fingers are tired from turning the Thesaurus' pages! Myths such as the Lorelei's have become a powerful phrase for such beautiful women who worm their way into men's hearts then.. cause their downfall Am wondering where the same can be seen of a man!? Grand poetry.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

My humble thanks Emma - a bright review to start my day - bless you. PS … must investigate the mal.. read more
I love legends and folklore. Your words conjure very hauntingly beautiful yet deadly visions...A lovely poem indeed!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

So glad you liked my write - thank you! :-)
Dhara_Ditzy Kat

2 Years Ago

You are welcome :)
This reminded me of the Greek mythology story of the sirens. This was very fun to read and definitely got me smiling like a child. These stories take me way out of this world :P

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

I'm always somewhere outside this world - thanks for sharing your lovely review - :-)
Beautiful write, love the flow and the images it paints with words ;-]

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The legend and the truth sometimes not so far from each other. Men are all day suckers when it comes to that kind of beauty, the problem is, rocks are just rocks. Great writing!!!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i like it very much. It has something dark and mysterious and it reminds me of the rocks at the rhine south of Bonn - how dark and silent they are at night.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

So happy to have poetically reminded you of this place = :-)
A most lovely tribute, Phill. I would guess it is most impressionable to see in public. You've made quite an impression here, for us Americans!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phill Oz O'fee

2 Years Ago

Gracious words - thank you so much! :-)

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Added on October 8, 2018
Last Updated on October 8, 2018

Author

Phill Oz O'fee
Phill Oz O'fee

Winchester, Hampshire, England, United Kingdom



About
I am caught in a time spiral of confusion; that period we all experience between birth and death. Somewhere inside hides a poet, writer, lyricist and/or whatever, laying dormant and suppressed by s.. more..

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