Nay Kindness in Whitewash'd Lies

My attempt at a 'Sonnet' ... :-)

Nay Kindness in Whitewash'd Lies

One doest oft findeth in the sooth of things

Bringeth heart ac'rbic m're than whisp'r'd lies

And which wounding shalt beest nay comf'rting

At which hour eith'r course couldst leaveth loveth to die

Shouldst not opaque beest love’s holdeth first to lasteth

And pure intent clasp tandem with promiseth

F'r chance secrets may ariseth from the past

And new whitewash'd lies soweth seeds dishonest

Beest not hasty to followeth thy heartstrings

Testeth all motives and seeketh chaste intention

F'r the sooth shall ascend on angel’s wings

Thus from amour th're is nay abstention

T is th'ref're a cleareth path of action

To beest honest in first love’s attraction

Copyright @ Phillozofee 2020

Original composition added:

No Kindness in Whitewashed Lies

One does often find in the truth of things

Bring heart acerbic more than whispered lies

And which wounding shall be no comforting

When either course could leave love to die

 

Should not opaque be love’s hold first to last

And pure intent clasp tandem with promise

For chance secrets may arise from the past

And new whitewashed lies sow seeds dishonest

 

Be not hasty to follow your heartstrings

Test all motives and seek chaste intention

For the truth will ascend on angel’s wings

Thus from amour there is no abstention

 

It is therefore a clear path of action

To be honest in first love’s attraction

Author's Note

I hope you all like my efforts... :-)

Reviews

[sonnie ibadah]

"...Be not hasty to follow your heartstrings
Test all motives and seek chaste intention
For the truth will ascend on angle's wings
Thus from amour there is no abstention..."

This is really really good.

Ps: I think you meant angel's wings and not angle's wings ;)

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you very much for your kind review .. and pointing out my 'typo' error :-) ... yes angels indeed (wouldn't want to ruffle their feathers)... Be safe and take care... :-)

[Dave Brown]

I have to admire this just for being a sonnet
I have written three and found them so painful to compose, they will be my last three
So, nicely done!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Many thanks for sharing your thoughts my friend -be sage and well... :-)

[barleygirl]

This is a hand-down choice for me, since I pretty much hate the overdone Shakespearean bent of your first effort! I hate that silly business, when people snap into this exaggerated Shakespearean voice as if that's part of what a sonnet is all about (I disagree). But I have to say that you did a great job at creating the Shakespearean voice, even if I don't like it much. The second attempt is my fave, of course! I love the straightforward expression, despite the backward sentence structure, another thing people always seem to associate with sonnets. I love the phrase "whitewashed lies" & how you're using it & showing it manifested. Sorry I cannot go full bore YAHOO! about your poems, since sonnets & this country hick have a tortured history *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Love your review Margie - It may be some time attempting another (and I will resist ye olde English) - be safe and blessed my friend ... :-)

[Robert Trakofler]

well done phil good sir:) I am not very good at sonnets I think I only attempted one once I have a hard time with old english vernacular but strangely I didnt with reading yours of which I believe is the key to writing a good sonnet:) so if yours can permeate the thick headed Bunny it must be well done LOL

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thanks BB- I had mixed feelings attempting this - but the challenge was irresistible - cheers...:-)