Hell, Consumed

           Heaven is a hellish place. Everything is so happy, so light, so void of darkness it’s sickening.  I’ve been bored with all the happiness since the first day I died and came here and they won’t let me feel pain. They’ve taken my razor and anything remotely pointy or sharp. “Pain isn’t allowed here,” they told me. So, as I yearn pain, I feel pain. I feel my soul torn apart at the obvious appearance of paradox and impossibility. I feel numb, I feel pain, I feel happiness, and I feel sadness. Nothing exists. Emptiness consumes. I fall.

            Heaven becomes Hell. I see the walls of fire, the force of darkness, the rivers of lava, and the stench of blood in the air. I lick my lips. I suddenly feel the full force of the fire, yet it does not consume me, nor burn me. It merely brings a stinging sensation to my skin.  I revel in it, having felt the emptiness of Heaven. I feel a slicing pain all over as demons approach with knives. They look heavenly, with scornful, yet sorrowful expressions on their face, almost like the angels of dreams. The demons remind me that I must not experience happiness. But yet, as they jab me with their objects of torment, I can’t help but smile. The irony amuses me and I rise. I become unconscious as I am thrown through the air wildly.

            I wake. My senses are dulled. I am in reality, and everything seems less real.  Everything was a dream. Everything still is a dream. I am still lost.  I am still outside of reality. I begin to loathe reality, almost as much as I begin to loathe fantasy. I loathe existence. I loathe Heaven. I loathe Hell. Even suicide won’t save me now. I fall.

            I am once more in Hell.

Author's Note

Not really my personal opinion or experience....just a thought.

Reviews

[Margaret Marie Hubbard]

Very dark but you speak loud and true. I can only hope there is a place not full of pain because that hope is the only thing that carries me through this dimension.