Drugs

Drugs

A Poem by PianoFiend
"

A pleasant little poem

"

Death

     to the little unicorn who wouldn't stay away.

A little crown of crystal meth

     keeps the demons right at bay.

         

          An angel,

               a sweet halo upon her head.

          Lives off denial,

               too early for her to be dead.

                   

                    The sweet young child,

                         how small have her faults been.

                    So tender, so mild,

                         so sad it must be fin.

What a nice existence it's been.

 

 

© 2011 PianoFiend


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Ees
I really like the sliding across the page form that this poem takes. It seems appropriate for content contained within it!
I love that you used the "unicorn" a mystical, symbol of innocence and the imagery of the crown made of crystal meth. Love it!

The last line of the second stanza might be more powerful if you removed "for her"-
making it:
"too early to be dead." We know you are talking about an angel, you haven't said anything about anybody else in that stanza, so you don't need the "for her".

In the second to last line I hate the use of the word "fin" everything else has painted a good picture, and I only must assume that is an abbreviation of "finished". But I wasn't sure when I first read it. It isn't an exact rhyme anyway, so I'd seriously think about how you can change that line.

overall I think that this a a great poem and concept,
good job,
Erin

Posted 7 Years Ago


First I must say: interesting. Never the less sad. Like how you combine the innocence with something more serious. Just mentioning Death at the beginning of the work changes the whole mood. Sweet, innocent but painful in the same way.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on November 22, 2011
Last Updated on November 22, 2011

Author

PianoFiend
PianoFiend

Lincoln, CA



About
My name is Misty, I am 15, and I go to Lincoln High School. Who I am can be found in my writing, though not directly. My favorite writers are: Fyoder Dostoevsky, Lewis Carrol, and J.K. Rowling. M.. more..

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A Poem by PianoFiend