Nexus Fate - Chapter 1: Warden

Nexus Fate - Chapter 1: Warden

A Chapter by Piegoose
"

When it means it most, can what's real outlast what isn't? Can one follow fate's strings to its master? Either way, Everything is guided.

"

It quivered among no illuminations. The unsightly thing, surely, moved through the dark. The great event, in line to unfold, must have been key priority in its mind. Although one might dispute this particular event's greatness, if it even had any meaning to begin with. But it happened nonetheless, a grid formation appeared. It seized the sky, space, time, all existence in this place. It shot out and away, leaving a gleaming trail in its wake. Agleam of stars and those colorful things that come next. It could be seen now, its celestial complexion. Surely not something of this place...



The dim glow faded from what the dignified boy held in his palm. The oil had run dry quicker than expected. Their escape would take to the subterrestrial shadows of the abyss.


Shal! Stay close!”


A quaking pressure came from the ground, and nearby walls. Pebbles fell full-force from the towering ceiling above, as the ominous visitor prepared greeting in the dark.


Another, tense, voice arouse strong, “Gama! Should we -”


The courtly one's blade unsheathed, glistening at its hilt from a distant fire.


Gama!


A great movement above. There was no more time. A colossal cleaver crashed down from the lofty visitor upfront. The broad thing hauled the blade back to its side. Beading sweat. The boy yelled, leaping with all his mustered might. Air scattered past his crisp steel. The loud clash of metal. A direct hit. There would be no holding back! This fight must be finished hastily before time's end! The boy yelled again, with another formidable strike, before taking hold of the weighty creature. This creature had no sensation of flesh or bone. It was hard, sharp at the edge as is steel. Gama kept hold of it. Was this its leg? His clear thought shattered from a sporadic shaking. A fringe of the thing's leg punctured Gama's chest. The liquid of life poured, loosening grip.


Gama! Where are you?”


This grip can't fail, this mission can't fail, it will not fail!


In a mighty stomp, against the surface of that thing's mighty leg, Gama flew. A momentum that couldn't go to waste. The air of the kick carried him upwards, just enough to count. Gama's steel stood steady, hilt and all, but an oddity arose. Air, around the motionless blade, quickened into a blur of speed. As was the blow. Fragments flew from the punctured beast. But one wasn't enough, more. More. MORE. Gama, now, hovered in memory of where that thing's leg once dared to fill. Shards and scrapes could be heard, clattering, in the dark. A slow, protracted creaking grew from the moment of silent peace. One end of the corridor shook again, signaling this battles end. But something signaled otherwise. Gama slipped.


Gama! Where are you? Did you stop it? Come on!”


A twinge of pain circulated throughout. This can't be it! They must reach the end, and there wasn't an abundance of time to mingle or pant. You must arise Gama.


Hey! Gama, say something!”


One foot under the other. Push. The needles sunk deeper within his chest. Deeper.


Shal sensed a tumble nearby, “Gama! Are you hurt?”


Gama felt her soft hands lift up his frail body, “Shal... Is he here?”


No... not yet. Come now! No - no, I've got you.”


Consciousness was fading. How can one stay valiant at an hour so bleak. There was no light to be found in this place, but that fire up ahead. Focusing... blotting out all things other than its approaching flame. Surrounded in stones, it continues to burn in a place so far in depth and ancient in construction.


It continues to burn... It must be connected to the ancient passageway, it can't be any simple anomaly! There’s no way I can let go now, not 'til doom strikes me at the heart.


Shal.” Gama growled, cringing his chest and pushing away. “I... will have to fight him. That flame... that flame should mark the start of the steps. You must -”


Gama! We've come this far! You can't - we have to make it to the e-”


This is the end Shal! My throne... it's not relevant anymore! You...” The gore of his wound continued out his mouth, slurring speech.


I...”


A slight gap. “There's meaning to this Shal... more meaning than reaching that end! You must take the gem onwards.”


But -”


Just go...”


I can heal y-”


You... can't waste your power!”


Stop! Gam-”


Or this valuable time - GO!”


The flame illuminated her tear droplets and pearly, silk cloak while tapping up the steps.


Gama took in the last sight of her, “Keep on! God forgive...”


God?” The needles of pain even ceased to this sound.


Over Gama's shoulder all was cimmerian shade, but the flame from behind him would spoil his stance. There was no good to come from this position. He must stay alert in hope of recovery. In a scarcely servile manner, Gama demanded, “Rat, show yourself!”


A chuckle ensued a voice of precedence, “You're wounded? That machine must have taken you.”


You think this...” Gama held his posture.


It's finally time traitor. As King and royalty of Royce, I declare you, Gama Patsy, surrender your life before the tip of my spear!”


How did it come to this...


... However, I would prefer another one of your revelries to simp-.”


ABLAIN, COME OUT!


Unsheathed again, this can't be the final time. There's more reason than just surviving this game of cat and mouse.


The gust of air to the left impelled something fatal. Gama's blade caught a grip on the King's spearhead as it tore Gama's pauldron clean off. Uniform collisions met the weakening steel blade. Dampening sweat blinded vision. Still not a hit to be let off, only many to be taken. The spear swept out from an anonymous angle, into Gama's recent wound. Pain of another scope soared throughout as Gama's eyes pierced the dark for requital. A leaning swing forward met no foe. A sidewards sway to the right left no cut. Yet, the jingling of mail, at the rear, caught Patsy's ear. An instantaneous, forward dive saved him from Albain's clout thrust.


Now the King's position was known. The foolish King stood before the fire-pit from far abaft. Footsteps ringed Gama's earshot as he searched for the right mark to make on his antagonist. An increment upwards, an opening! The lengthy veer of his blade rode the King's spear higher, a wide target! Briskly relieving the sword backwards above his own shoulder, an opposing defense was futile. The amount of armor worn wouldn't save Albain from this move... this strike... will end his life. I will live on!


From Gama's perspective, the blade made a solid hit against Albain's armored defense, but there was a gap. A senseless gap. Where the blade attempted to strike, it met a wall of energy, small and bright. Another hit in the combination, led to a similar fate. Another and another, side by side, swipe by swipe, all angles manageable - the wall only continued to merge, revealing the monarch's expression of utter delight. There was no cavity, no sense. But confusion ceased. So did everything else. Gama Patsy's blade fell sharply below him. The incision left fresh blood droplets adrift. There was no more fighting. It was over. This met nowhere near the length of time needed for Shal to make her move. She's standing somewhere up there, not aware of this failure.


My failure... you put trust in me, with sacrifice. I'm sorry for not denying it when I could. Goodbye...



© 2013 Piegoose


Author's Note

Piegoose
This is my first attempt at writing a full story.
Also the chapters are at a short length because I posted them first on DeviantArt, and people will never read your stories if they are too long there (which is why I moved here).

I'd appreciate any type of criticism as this is my first writing.

*By the way, I will very likely combine chapters to lessen the total number after I have completed the book (as with chapters of this length, the amount will very likely enter 3 digits).

My Review

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Featured Review

I enjoyed your writing but the story was a little hard to follow. The style you used felt a bit like prose poetry to me. I've been thinking of doing something similar on a book I'm working on, but I'm only going to use the flowery language in certain scenes.

But It's your work so do what you want. Your definatly a good writer. On to chapter two.

Good words.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great work dude! I got hooked from the start to the end

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Piegoose

3 Years Ago

Thanks a lot! Just letting you know since this story is incomplete that I haven't been not productiv.. read more
Good story. A little hard to follow but I got the general idea.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

⊰ℙℝ⊱ (personal request via PM)

The great event, in line to unfold, [must've / must have] been key priority in it's mind.
It is poor writing to use contractions for the narrator unless it is first person perspective.

Hmm ... You are running into an, "it's" problem. Not too surprising as it can get confusing. "It's" with the apostrophe is always and only used for a contraction of, "it is" or "it has." (and should additionally not be used by the narrator unless it is first person - see above).

While it may not make visual sense, "its" without the apostrophe is actually the possessive. For professional writing you should keep these two things in mind. If you like, I can mark every single area where it's and its are misplaced.

“Gama! We've come this far! You can't- we have to make it to the en-”
Normally a - (dash) attached to a word (no space) means the word is incomplete. You can add a space if you are giving a pause after, "can't" since that is a complete word. The "en-" however is correct since the word is cut-off before it is spoken.

"Gama took [in the her] last sight, “Keep on! God forgive...” (malformed grammar)

"Over Gama's shoulder all was [crimean/crimson] shade" (sp)

“It is finally time, traitor-" and “one of your revelries to simply-.” (see above)

"tore his [pauldron] clean off." (excellent usage here, full marks).

Catch up on these first and write me again for a follow-up on the plot and story.


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

dw817

6 Years Ago

You earlier requested Friendship although I thought you were already in my friend's list ? I always .. read more
Piegoose

6 Years Ago

Oh ya lol xD well I didn't want to send a request at the start ~ someone told me people abuse it som.. read more
dw817

6 Years Ago

Well now as I mentioned it's NOT what she did was super-bad, well yah it is, but - what's the term I.. read more
I enjoyed your writing but the story was a little hard to follow. The style you used felt a bit like prose poetry to me. I've been thinking of doing something similar on a book I'm working on, but I'm only going to use the flowery language in certain scenes.

But It's your work so do what you want. Your definatly a good writer. On to chapter two.

Good words.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
Added on July 16, 2013
Last Updated on December 31, 2013
Tags: Nexus, fate, fantasy, medieval, story, castle, mind, arc, 1, 2, reality, original, space, cat, mouse


Author

Piegoose
Piegoose

CA



About
Hoy there! I'm new to writing and am testing my, current, writing capabilities. I've recently finished High School and am going to college now, so i'm trying to see how my abilities with the pen will .. more..

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Nexus Fate Nexus Fate

A Book by Piegoose